Gujarati

One afternoon a wealthy Gujarati was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.

Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

He asked one man "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don’t have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."

"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I’ll feed you", the Gujarati said.

"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."

"Bring them along," the Gujarati replied.

Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You also come with us."

The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"

"Bring them all, as well,"the Gujarati said.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was...

Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the Gujarati and said, "Sir, you are too kind ! Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The Gujarati replied, "Glad to do it. You’ll really love my place....

The grass at my place is almost one meter high !!!

Bathtub

The Bathtub🛁 Test:

During a visit 2 a 'Mental Hospital'🏥 journalist

askd the Director:

 "How do u determine

whthr 2 admit a patient or not?"

Director: "Well, we fill a Bathtub,

then v give a teaspoon, a teacup & a bucket

to the patient & ask him to empty the

Bathtub."

The journalist said: "oh, a normal person

would use the bucket coz its bigger, right!"

Director: "No! A normal person wud pull the

Drain Plug".😝🐣

Now tell me which bed u want?😛😜😜

wife

📢❓💯 How various Gujrati wifes fight with their respective husbands

Pilot's wife: Vadhare Udd Nai.

Teacher's wife: Mane Nai Sikhvaad...

Painter's wife: Thobdu Rangi Dais...

Dhobi's wife: Dhoyi Nakhis.

Actor's wife: Natak su Kare 6e.

Dentist's wife: Daat todi Nakhis.

CA's wife: Hisaabma rehje ho .

Engineer's wife: spare parts dhila kari nakhish.👏

besharami

Height of Besharmi

Boy & Grl met wid Accidnt.

Boy's BMW got Scratchs

Boy: Dikhta nahi..bhosdiki...Teri maa ko chodu..Teri bhen ko chodu..

.

.

.

.

Grl: Baas kya, mujhe nai na?

😂😜

mast

Best 1 !!! 

Babita  Jethalal ki honi chahiye , 

Kyoki Daya to ACP ke pass bhi hai

How to make decision?

First, listen to your heart....

Then, listen to ur head..

In the end,, your wife will tell you what to do!!!!😜😝😛

Newly married couple:-

 Wife:- Suno ji ab jab hum shaadi k bandhan mein bandh gaye hai to humein hamari sex lyf manage kar leni chahiye.

 Husband:- Haan bolo meri jaan.

 

 Wife:- tum jab office se aao aur mere baal bane huye dekho to iska matlab hai mein sex karne k mood mein nahi hoon. Agar mere baal halke bikhre huye aur halke bane huye hai to mein sex kar bhi sakti hu aur nahi bhi.Aur agar mere baal bigade huye hai to mein full on sex k mood mein hoon.

 Tharki pati ka dimaag kharab.

 Husband:- theek hai jaanu lekin meri bhi kuch sharte hai...

 Agar mein office se 1 peg pike aaya to mein sex k mood mein nahi hu....agar mein 2 peg pike aaya to mein sex kar bhi sakta hu aur nahi bhi.......lekin agar 3 peg pike aaya.........

 To maa chudane gaya tera hair style chudayi to hoke rahegi

Ladkiyan virgin honi chahiye,

Rand to south africa ki currency bhi hoti he.....

Naam ke piche surname honi chahiye..... Ji to biscuit piche bhi hota hai..

Girlfrnds to russian honi chayiyee 

Asian toh paints bhii hote haii..😝😎

Chaay ☕ masaaledaar honi chahiye.. Kadak toh apna grup bhi hai

Ladkiyon mein akal honi

chahiye ...Surat to Gujarat mein Bhi

hai.... 😂😂

Aasman ke taare rangeen hone chaahiye , Roshan toh hrithik bhi hai

boy

American boy: Mom I'm dark even though u r white, why..?

Mom: Listen son, Considering all mistakes n crazy things i had done in my youth, just thank god dat u dont bark...!

many

Doctor returns to his clinic after a day off and

asks his assistant Santa about his patients.

Santa: 1st patient came with headache. I gave

him Saridon.

Doctor: Good Job.

Santa: 2nd with running nose and I gave him

Coldarin.

Doctor: Good job again!

Santa: 3rd patient was a lady. She took-off her

clothes on the bed, opened her legs and said,

"Help me, I have not seen a Man for last 5

months".

Surprised Doctor,"What did you do then"?

Santa: I put Ciplox eye drops in her eyes.

Jb 2 litter pepsi Rs. 70 ki hai,

Aur

1 litter Rs. 45 

ki toh

.

.

.

.

Saari umar Maths padhne ka fayeda hi kya hua 😜😂😂

Swarg me pornstars hone chaiye..

Apsara toh pencil bhi hoti hai 😜😝😝😛

LUND khada hona chahiye ..... 

SOYA toh sauce bhi hai 😜😂

Chai glass me peeni chahiye ,

Cup toh bra me bhi hote hai !!!

Gali to Bc honi chahiye....Mc to Donald bhi he.....!!!!!

Biscuit

Ye lo latest wala...😉

Biscuit to Marie ke hone chahiye

Chutmarike to mere dost bhi hai..😂😂😂

Many

Kiss to wet honi chaiye ,dry to manchurian bhi aata hai. 💋💋💋

Marriages 'love' honi chahiye, 'fixed' toh IPL bhi hota hai

Ladkiyaan Sindhi honi chahiye , Jain toh Dosa bhi hota

hai .

Ladki thodhi Healthy honi chahiye , Patli toh nokia charger

ki pin bhi hoti hai .

Dessert mein Pastry honi chahiye , Rabdi toh Devi bhi hai .

 Friends hamesha happening hone chaiyea paakate toh chef bhi hai.....

 Dahi to motherdairy ka hona chaie 

Amul ki to underwear bhi hoti hai 😜

Dil bada hone chahiye, chota to bheem bhi hai

Magar

Shahruk ko acting karni chaye, meh meh toh bakri bhi karti hai 😂

---------------

Har ek subah sunahari honi chahiye, nayi to delhi bhi hai!

---------------------

Raat suhaani honi chahiye,andheri toh station bhi hai! 😂😂

---------------

Reply dhang ka hona chahiye,

Hmmmm toh bhes bhi karti hai 😂

----------***

Mobile Toh Samsung Hona Chahiye, Apple Toh Fruit Bhi Hai !!!

-------***------

Boys to intelligent hone chaiye...smart to phones bhi hai....

----------*****----

Girls to cool honi chahiye... Hot to chay☕ ..bhi hai...!!!

-------------**

many

⚡☔Varsad na Komal Tipa moklu chhu,

☁☁☔Bhini mati ni mahek moklu chhu,

🎵🎧🎶 Wajte Gajte aavi chhe Megh ni Savari,

🌈☔⚡Varasta Varsad ma Tamne Mari bhini🙏 subhecha moklu chhu..⚡🌈☔

PM MODI hona chahiye RAHUL  toh DRAVID bhi hain.

किसी सॉफ़्टवेयर इंजीनियर के बच्चे ने अपने बाप से पूछा,

"पापा मैं कैसे पैदा हुआ"?

पापा - बेटा मैं और तेरी मम्मी पहली बार Yahoo Chat Room में मिले थे। फिर हमने एक Cyber Cafe में पहली मुलाकात थी। तुम्हारी मम्मी का Software देखकर मेरा Hardware खड़ा हो गया। फिर हम एक कमरे में घुस गए क्योंकि हमारा CPU गर्म हो गया था। तुम्हारी मम्मी मेरे Pen Drive से Download करवाने को राज़ी हो गई। लेकिन जैसे ही मैं Upload करने लगा, मुझे अहसास हुआ कि हम लोगों ने न तो Anti-Virus का इस्तेमाल किया है और न ही Firewall का। अब तो इतनी देर हो चुकी थी कि Delete या Escape Button का इस्तेमाल करना भी मुमकिन नहीं था।

छः हफ़्तों बाद तुम्हारी मम्मी ने मुझे Internet पर Chat करके बताया कि उसका Operating System किसी Self-Extracting File के चलते Unauthorized Program Activity दिखा रहा था, जिससे उसका System Slow हो गया था। वह Self-Extracting File तुम्हारी मम्मी के BIOS में Load थी। 

नौ महीने बाद एक Pop-Up दिखाई दिया, जिसमें लिखा था, You've Got Mail (Male)!!!

Many

Sex to penetrative hona chahiye oral to exam bhi hoti h....😂😝 

Condom safe hona chahiyee,

Flavours toh ice cream🍨🍧 mai bhi hota hai....😛😂 

Penis me stamina hona chaiye..

Khada toh nagar sevak bhi hota hai..😂

"VERY HEART TOUCHING STORY"

Kutte ka bacha apni maa se,

Maa, Pitaji dikhne me kaise the?

Maa- pata nahi beta,

piche se aye the,

piche se hi chale gaye..;)🐒..🐶

This one is hilarious!!!!!      

               

Boss: Insaan ke SPERM ki 1 boond, khoon ki 100 boondo ke barabar hoti hai'

Santa: toh sir aap humara khoon kyon chooste ho, direct lauda choos liya karo!!!   😂😂😂

jethaji

Poonam ni raate hu chand joti ti.

  Wah Wah...

Poonam ni raate hu  chand joti ti.

Babita : Sorry jethaji tamaro phone aavyo  tyare hu gaand dhoti ti......😜😆

Wah

Chaay ☕ masaaledaar honi chahiye.. Kadak toh apna grup bhi hai 😎

😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝

Lund khada hona chahiye...

Soya toh sauce b hai

😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝

Lund me stamina hona chaiye..

Khada toh nagar sevak bhi hota hai..

😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝

Exams written honi chahiye,

Oral toh sex bhi hota hai !!

😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝

Ladki ko kiss karna chaiye... 

Hug toh hum  toilet mai bhi dete hai 

😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝

Condom manforce hona chaiye 

mood to kutte ka bhi hota hai

😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝

Condom hamesha safe hona chahiye... 

Saste to aajkal kele bhi milte hai...

😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝

Boobs hamesha soft hone chahiye.

Bada to football bhi hota hai...

😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝

Swimming pool humesha saaf hona chahiye...

Gehri to chut bhi hoti hai...

😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝

GF humesha sexy honi chahiye...

Virgin to aajkal mobile bhi hote hai...

😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝

Sex humesha passionately karna chahiye.

Position to fielder bhi change karta hai.

😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝

Long One

🔞Duniya ke 16 Sach☀🔞

1. Insaan ka lund aur sarkari kaam hamesha latakta rehta hai

2. Chut aur doodh ke fatne par hamesha aurat chillati hai

3. Saap aur gand, jaha bhi mile, maar do

4. Maut aur tatti kisi ko puch ke nahi aati

5. Garib aur boobs🌑🌑 hamesha dabte heai

6. Nai dulhan 👰aur nai gadi 🚙🚗🚕kisi dost ko do to thok ke hi deta hai

7. Musibat aur lund kabi bhi khade 👆ho sakte hai

8. Bra 👙aur kismat kabhi bhi khul sakti hai

9. Samudar aur chut ko napa nahi ja sakta

10. Chut or daru🍺🍻 kabhi bhi juthe nahi hote

11. Nayi chut or bhoot 👻kismat walo ko hi dikhte hai

12. Ladki 🙋aur audio cassete 📼ki dono side bajani chahiye

13. Lund or paani💦💧 apna rasta khud banate hai

14. Gaand or doodh fatne ki aawaz nahi aati

15. Sex or tax aadmi ko pagal bana dete hai

16. Raand or police🚓🚓 par kabhi bharosa mat karna

Samaj gaye?... Ab sab ko bhejo

™T

Girlfriend aisi honi chaiye ki uski god mein sar rakho to uska chehra nazar na aaye.

Jisko samajh aaya wo forward kare baki sare Pogo dekhe.

Ghor Kalyug:

A boy disturbs a girl at bus stop

Girl  : -Ghar pe ma - behen nahi he kya?

Boy : No!

Girl : To Ghar le chal na pagal,Yaha TimePaas Q kar raha hai... 😃😝

❌❌❌

 Question - What Is Difference Between A BOOT (Shoes)  CHOOT.? 

Zabardast Answer -

BOOT Accepts Only ONE Size, Whereas CHOOT Accepts ALL Sizes.. 😜

🔴🔴🔴

 College Me, Mam-"

Lakir ka Fakir" Muhavare ka udhahran do"

Boy"

Aap Bura Nahi Manegi?

Mam-

Nahi Bura Q?

Boy-Aapki Panty ke andar

jo Lakir he

Hum Uske fakir hai.. 😝

⭕⭕⭕

 ek wife ko shadi k bahut salo baad pta lga k uska husband CHHAKKA h aur usko Plastic k Lund se chodta tha....wife- tumne itni bdi baat mujhse chhupai, tumne meri zindgi barbaad kr di.....

husband- baat ko aagey na badhao, maine itne salo me kbi puchha k BUNTY & BABBLI Plastic k Lund se kaise paida ho gye? 😛😜😂😂😜😜

Garmi Shuru Ho rahi hai,

Ab Dhile Kurte me BRA,

BOOBS

&

Patli Salwar me floral Panty fir se Dekhne ko Milegi...

"Kamino K Liye Janhit me jaari"

Happy Summer 🌞

Listening to wife is like reading the terms & conditions of website.

You understand Nothing, 

still u click "I Agree"......!!

🔞🔞Non veg Joke bonanza🔞🔞

Aaj kal ke bachho ki haramipanti :

MADAM : shor mat karo nahi to khadda kar dungi..

Bachhe:

pehele mera..

pehele mera..

pehele mera..

_____________

Beta-Papa, Ye "Sex" kya hota hai ?

Santa thinks oye bahenchod ye kya puch liya bete ne, par batana to padega.

Aftr that he says- Beta, sex me hum ladki k kapde utarte hai fir apane kapde utarte hai, fir ladki ko pas me late hai uske boobs dabate hai fir vo hamara lund chusti hai, fir hum uski gand me ungal karte hai, fir tel laga k ladki ki chut me lund dal k hum lund ander bahar karte hue use chodte hai.

Ye hota hai sex.

Beta- Admission form me kya likhu? :D

_____________

GIRLS put makeup, lots of creams , sexy perfumes & they make the best hairstyle EVER.

.

.

Finally guys look at them and say:

.

.

BHENCHOD GAAND DEKH SAALI KI .... :p !

__________

Boy: Tu kitne baje uthti hai?

Girl: Apna koi time nahi hai. Jab dil kare so jaati hoon, aur jab dil kare uth jaati hoon

Boy: Naughty! Tu bilkul mere LODE pe gayi hai.. :D

______________

Customer- bhai saheb dettol sabun hai?

Dukandaar (lauda khujlate huye)- haan hai.

Customer- to behen k lode, us se haath dho ke 1 kilo cheeni dede.

-----------------------------

TATA ko ab pata chala ki

NANO CAR Me 2 Problems hai..

1. Pregnant Woman andar nahi aa sakti.

And

2. Car ke andar Normal Woman Pregnant nahi ho sakti..! ;)

------------------------------

Doct.-Mareez ko Agar 1 ghanta pehle le aate to hum isey bacha lete.

SANTA-bhenchod, aadhe ghante pehle to acident hua, fir 1 ghanta pehle kya hospital gaand marvane laate?

God: Kya chahiye ? 

Pappu: Paiso se bhara bag, ek job, 1 badi si gadi 

aur bahut saari ladkiyan,

God- Tathastu ! .

Aaj pappu ladies Bus me conductor hai.

one more!

State Gujarat jaisa hona chahiye..

Goa toh gutka bhi hai..😂

Soch sedhi honi chahiyee...

Ulta to tarak mehta ka chasma b hai...😜

Joke smjne layk hona chye ,forwrd toh DVD player me bhi hota hai

.grup pe chat hona Chahie...silent to resort bhi hai

Watchman khada hona chaiye...

soya toh Sauce bhi hota hai!!!:p

Degree commerce ki honi chahiye, medical toh stores bhi hote hain

Girlfrnds to russian honi chayiyee 

Asian toh paints bhii hote haii..😝😎

Insaan shaant hona chaiye gambhir toh gautam bhi hai....😛😝

wah

Beat this one !  

Tits bade hone chahiye

Chotta toh apna Bheem bhi hai ! 😂

Bable Gol aur Tight Hone chahiye....... Latakte toh bandar bhi hai !!

Ladki seedhi honi chaiye..

Uljhe huey toh jhaat b hote hai=D =))

Lund mainly lambaa hona chaiye..

Khada toh pav bhaji hota hai=))

Heera toh tanishq ka hi khareedna chaiye

Kohinoor k toh condom khareedte hai

Reply dhang ka hona chaiye

"Hmmmm" toh bhais b karti hai=D 

Item pure hoti chaiye

Randi toh Orton bhi hai=D 

Balam ko ankh maarni chaiye pichkari toh viky donor b marta hai 

Grup mei hallla hona chaiye. 

Shanti toh hamari kamwali hoti hai...

Swarg me porn stars hone chaiye

Apsara toh pencil b hoti hai

Sex toh penetrative hona chaiye 

Oral toh exam b hoti hai

Morning fresh honi chaiyeee..

Goood toh justin biber bhi hai

Bachhe scizzerian hone chaiye chutye toh aap bhi hai=D 

Militry defensiv honi chaiye

protection toh  condom b dete hai

Ladki mile to kiss karna chahiye, hug to log sandaas me bhi dete hain..😝😝😝😂😂😂.                                       Pussy toh shaved honi chahiye

Hairy toh potter bhi hai..                  Life main hamesha josh aur zeal hona chahiye,happy toh mcdonalds ka meal bhi hota hai!😜

Surat

Ladkiyo mai dimagh hona chahiye

Surat to gujrat me bhi hai .😂😂😂

3 Log

This is a killer one-

Ghar ke bahar ladke ne ladki se romantic

batein karte huwe kaha,

"Jaanu ab andar chalein.... Kab tak hum teeno aise khade rahenge" 😁