Friday 26 December 2014

Penis V/s Vagina

: I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary on the following reasons:

I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I work in high temperatures.
I work in a damp environment.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.

Sincerely,
Penis

The Response

Dear Penis,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

You are unable to work double shifts.
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You will retire well before you are 60.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You do not always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the required protective clothing/ headgear.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed an assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.

Sincerely,

VaGina.

Choos

Bapu was looking at mobiles displayed in a shop.
Salesman: Please come inside & choose.


Bapu : Bhosdina  tu bahar aav ne maro choos...!!!!😂😂

Kadak

Ekdum kadak!! -

Girl:- mei hu ladki jheel ki,
chut meri steel ki,
chod sake na hathi ghode,
tu kya chodega maa ke loude...

Boy:-naam hai mera pappan pillo,
lund ka weight chappan kilo,
jamin par maru toh kuva khod jaye...

tu to kya teri ma bhi chud jaye..

Baba bhosdiwale

Baba bhosdiwale Kahte hai ki-

"Machhi aur ladki khud pakad k khao toh hi asli maza hai,

Lund aur kanoon kabhi haath me na lo,

Naukri aur Goti pe kabhi laat na maaro,

Lohe par hathoda aur chut par lauda tabhi maaro jab woh garam ho,

Kismat ki karni, chut ki garmi aur lund ki besharmi nahi rukti,

Aur sambhaal ke sex karo Qki,

bandook se nikla foulad aur chut se nikli aulad kabhi wapis nahi jaati."

Murga

Ek Kisaan 1 murga leke aaya. Us murge ne aate hi 150 murgiyo koj chod diya.

Ye dekh kar kishan bahut khush hua. Sham tak us murge ne sari batakho (duck)or Baki janwaro ko b chod diya,

ye dekhkar kishan kuch pareshan hua. Agle din jab subah hui to murga khet me mara pda tha

or upar giddh mandra rhe the. Use dekhkar Kishan bola, "mar gaya bhosdi k,

harkate b to teri aisi thi" tabhi murge ne ek aankh kholi or bola "chup madarchod ,
Acting kar raha hu bhenchod,
inme se ek ko niche to aane de ,
Fir dekh kaisi gaand marta hu inki"

Sadhu

Ek Sadhu se ek bhakt ne Pucha-

Aap Hamesha Zameen Pe Kyu Bethtey Ho ?
.
.
Sadhu Ne Bahut Khubsurat Jawab Diya-
.
.
.
.
.
.

"Tujhe Koi Taqleef Hai madarchod ?

Engineer


.
Girlfriend: ''Can You Tell Me??
What is My Bra Size??''
.
Boyfriend: ''36.....''
.
Girlfriend: ''WOW!!! How do you know???
.
Boyfriend: ''Yesterday I Opened it.''
.
Girlfriend: ''But in my Bra, there is no Number?''
.
Boyfriend: ''So what Babe..... I am an Engineer, from Load I can Calculate Area...''
.

 Engineer's ki jai ho!!!! 

Beep Beep

Salary day special !!!

 9.00 : *beep beep*.. Msg received...
 Salary credited to ur a/c

 Me : Yipeeee..

 9.01 : *beep beep*
 Home EMI auto debited..

 9.02 : *beep beep*
 Car loan EMI auto debited..

 9.03 : *beep beep*
 Credit card bill auto debited..

 9.04 : *beep beep*
 Phone bill auto debited..

 9.05 : *beep beep*
 Electricity bill auto debited..

 9.06 : *beep beep*
 LIC EMI auto debited..

 9.07 : *beep beep*
 Medical insurance EMI debited..

 9.08 : *beep beep*

 Pls maintain minimum balance...!!!

Whatsapp Vs Facebook

: DIFFERENCE BETWEEN Facebook and Whats app CONVERSATION

On "What'sapp"

Wife: Kab se wait kar rahi hun .  Ghar kab aa rahe ho ?

Husband: Abhi kucch pata nahi ,  dimaag mat chaato. Jab dekho pareshaan karti rehti ho.

On "FaceBook"

Wife: Dear when will you be back ? You are the best husband in the world. Miss you. Come back soon. 😘
(Status liked by 10 of her friends)

Husband: Thanks for being there always .... so lucky to have a wonderful wife like you ! Will be back soon honey. 

Gujju

Gujrati mitro ni vaato ma aavta ketlaak ALANKARIK shbdo :

1. maa chodava gyu, hu jaav chhu.
2. Tu taari gand marav.
3. Shu aavi chodu jevi vaat kare chhe.
4. Loda ubho rene 2 minit.
5. Are yaar maro baap mari gand mari leshe.
6. Ae aeni maa chodave, tu taru kar.
7. To maru na manvu hoy ne to pikka ma jaa .
8. Maaro aa.....
9. Magaj ni maa chod ma.
10. E game e hoy mara lode thi .
11. Bhosdina!  Fon kem no'to upadto? Gand ma hawa chhe?
12. Haal ne loda tane kaai nay thay.
13. Baaki hoy to haji gand maari le....
14. Haalti pikki no thaa!
15. Ghari jaa loda aeni gand ma..
& last 1. Is the best



Chodinaav kyarek to maavo khavdaavo .

Openings

I Received a call from a recruitment consultant.

She said to me: "Sir I have two openings for you...!"

I replied : Yes. I know 😊
















There was a long silence and then she said..... Madarchod..

Bhenchod

The beautiful thing abt India is that when someone says...
"Tu gawaar hai bhenchod"
the next guy takes offense on the word:
"Gawaar kisko bola" -

Bhenchod is not important 😃😃

NFS

Girl : I want to breakup with you. Don't ever call me, you asshole. Fuck off.

Boy : Arre main busy tha, new Lamborghini Aventador li hai maine!!

Girl : Awwww! My jaanu! So cute ! Kab li? Kahan hai? Baby meet me na pls...

Boy : Mobile pe li, NFS khelte huye unlock ki...😜

Girl : Behen ke Laude... 

Sex Story

A handsome boy & a hot girl
were going in a car for some fun.

Suddenly it started raining & both got wet.


They found an empty hut & went inside.


Girl had a nice figure & was luking awesome in her wet white T-shirt & denim shorts.


The boy was also well built & was aroused by his gf's sexy body.


He came close 2 her & wrapped his arms around her waist.


He caught her close & put his hand on her wet waist & started lifting her wet T-shirt feeling her smooth skin.


Girl put her hands on boy's
shoulder & offered her lips 4 a kiss.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.

To continue. Pay Rs 49 at Navrang Cinema Hall & Enjoy the full Bhojpuri Movie -"Sawan Barse Hum Tohar Chummi ko Tarse"😃

Mahabharat

Dronacharya: The Mentor. The employee who doesn't like working himself but is always ready to guide and train new joiners.

Bhishma: The Loyal. The employee in a relatively senior position who happily assists the boss in spite of knowing his incompetence (because of some strange oath maybe)

Dhritarashtra: The blind boss. He knows that everything is wrong with his project but will still let it function, without making any changes to the current processes.

Gandhari: The Yesmen/Women. Boss's immediate juniors who know that they are a part of an evil plan but will stay blindfolded and pretend as if nothing is happening.

Yuddhisthira: The ethical guy. Poor chap would never fudge timesheets and call in sick only when he is dying.

Bheema: The angry resource. Always ready to pick up a fight with his peers, subordinates or even the bosses.

Arjuna: The cool dude. The star performer who also knows how to sell his skills. A natural charmer, very famous among the ladies.

Nakul & Sahdev: The good average resource. No one notices them. They keep doing their work and get average appraisals.

Duryodhana: The Bully. Knows how to get work done, by hook or by crook. Doesn't mind threatening the likes of Nakul and Sahdev to get his work done.

Karna: The unsung hero. The best performer in the office but never claims credit for his work. Stays an unsung hero for all his life. Girls take him for a snobbish nerd.

Shakuni: The evil plotter. Copies management in every mail. Escalates every trivial issue, sometimes to take credits and sometimes purely for fun.

Dhristadyumna: The One inning wonder. The one who performs an extraordinary feat, and then basks in the glory of it for the rest of his life.

Draupadi: The shared resource. Keeps hopping projects on boss's advice.

Krishna: The Ultimate Boss (MD/CEO) who knows that it is his game while he makes everyone believe that they are playing important roles too.


Who says history never repeats itself... It does everyday. In the office.

Returns

[Averge marital life 30 yrs]

COST: Marige expenses- Rs.1000000

Mthly expen-Rs.20000

Wifes mthly maintainence- Rs.5000

RETURNS:

SEX First 5 yrs- Weekly 3 Times.

Next 5 yrs- Weekly 1 Time.

Next 10 yrs -Once in 15 days.

Next 10 yrs -Once in a month.

MEANING:

1400 times sex in 30 yrs 4 an estimated expenditure of 7200000 + 1000,000 spent on wedding @ 7% for 30 years as per current FD Int rate

= 62420000

CALCULATIONS:

A Man spends Rs.54000 for each time he has Sex with his Wife.

CONCLUSION:

Outsourcing is cheaper!

Paisa aapka faisla aapka..!!
Ye jankari janhit me jaari.

Jaago Grahak Jaago!

Women

365 nights of an Indian woman:
60 nights periods
55 nights headaches
50 nights I am tired
40 nights I have to get up early
35 nights I am not well
25 nights the kids are awake
20 nights will do tomorrow
35 nights aaj fast hai
45 nights aaj mummy k ghar jana hai..!
Ab batao Banda Bangkok na jaye to kya kare.

Ye msg jisne b banaya hoga ..kamine ne kitna dimag lagaya hoga...

Happy Women

You remember that scene from Karan Johar’s Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham?The Diwali scene, where amidst all the celebration, song and dance Jaya Bachchan smiles benignly and then something in her just awakens, she starts quivering as Shahrukh Khan steps down from the Raichand chopper, running to greet his mother.

That glorious, happy, emotional moment which depicts unconditional love?...

That! Yes that is exactly how women feel and react when they see their maids return after their holidays!

Married

A newly wed couple had only been married for two weeks. Husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out in town and party and drink with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, 'Honey, I am going out and will be back soon.

'Where are you going honey bunch?' asked wife.

I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer.'

Wife said, 'You want a beer, my love?'
She went and opened the door of the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries - Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

Husband didn't know what to do, the only thing that he could think of saying was, 'Yes, lolly pop but at the bar U know they have
frozen glasses.'

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because wife interrupted him by saying - 'You want a frozen glass puppy face?'
She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

Husband, looking bit pale, said, 'Yesss.. Tootsie roll, but at the Bar they have those reshmi kababs, that are really delicious.. I won't be long.
I'll be right back. I promise.. Okkk?

'You want reshmi kababs poochie pooh?' She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different types of ready to eat kababs, chicken wings, cutlet, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

'But my sweet honey..
At the barrr... U know... There's swearing, dirty words and all that..'

'You want dirty words, you bastard??
Drink your fucking beer Bhenchod in your damn frozen mug Madarchod and eat your shitty snacks, bcoz you have got married now and you aren't going anywhere!!

Got it, Bhen ke laude?'

Men are Men

A sexy Irish blonde at a Casino, seemed a little intoxicated 😎

She bet 20,000 Euro on a single Roll of dice.

She said - "I hope you don't mind, but I feel Luckier when I'm nude."

With that, she removed her clothes, rolled the dice and yelled-
"Come on baby, Mama needs new clothes!"

As the Dice came to a stop, she jumped and yelled - "Yes, Yes,
I Won.. I Won.."

She hugged each dealer and picked up her winnings and clothes and left.

The dealers gazed at each other, dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked-
"What number rolled on the dice?"
The other - "I don't know, I thought you were watching."

Moral of the story:

1.Not All drunks are Drunk😉,
2.Not all Blondes are dumb😳,

3.But all Men are Men!!!😅

Memory

Wife at night : Tell me how much did Sachin score in 2003 world cup against Pakistan?

Husband : 98, why u are asking ?

Wife : Now tell me why you didn't wish me for my birthday since morning ?

Silence...........……


Husband couldn't even say, I have a bad memory 

Before u complain

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind.

She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her.

She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see the world, I will marry you.'

  One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.

  He asked her,’ Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?'

The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.

  Her boyfriend left her in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.'

 This is how the human brain often works when our status changes.

Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.

  Life Is a Gift

Today before you say an unkind word -

Think of someone who can't speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has nothing to eat.

  Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.

  Today before you complain about life -

Think of someone who died too young.

  Before you complain about your children -

Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.

  Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep -

Think of the people who are living in the streets.

  Before whining about the distance you drive

Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

  And when you are tired and complain about your job -

Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.

  But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another -

Remember that not one of us is without sin and we all answer to one MAKER.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down -

Put a smile on your face and thank GOD you're alive and still around.

  And before you think of signing out, Please think of sending this to at least ten people including the one who sent it to you.


God Bless You

Oversmart

Madam, if I couldn't clean this up in the next 3 mins with my new powerful vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this shit..!!

Lady: Do you need Chili Sauce with that?

Salesman: - Why Madam?

Lady: - Because there's no electricity in the house...!!!

MORAL: - "Gather all resources before working on any project and committing to the client... & over smartness in India can be deadly."...

pOwer of Money...By Adam Khoo ( Singapore 's youngest millionaire at 26 yrs.)

Nice article on pOwer of Money...By Adam Khoo ( Singapore 's youngest millionaire at 26 yrs.)

Some of you may already know that I travel around the region pretty frequently, having to visit and conduct seminars at my offices in Malaysia , Indonesia , Thailand and Suzhou ( China ) . I am in the airport almost every other week so I get to bump into many people who have attended my seminars or have read my books.

Recently, someone came up to me on a plane to KL and looked rather shocked. He asked, 'How come a millionaire like you is traveling economy?' My reply was, 'That's why I am a millionaire. ' He still looked pretty confused.

This again confirms that greatest lie ever told about wealth (which I wrote about in my latest book 'Secrets of Self-Made Millionaires'). Many people have been brainwashed to think that millionaires have to wear Gucci, Hugo Boss, Rolex, and sit on first class in air travel. This is why so many people never become rich because the moment they earn more money, they think that it is only natural that they spend more, putting them back to square one.

The truth is that most self-made millionaires are frugal and only spend on what is necessary and of value. That is why they are able to accumulate and multiply their wealth so much faster.

Over the last 7 years, I have saved about 80% of my income while today I save only about 60% (because I have my wife, mother in law, 2 maids, 2 kids, etc. to support). Still, it is way above most people who save 10% of their income (if they are lucky).

I refuse to buy a first class ticket or to buy a $300 shirt because I think that it is a complete waste of money. However, I happily pay $1,300 to send my 2-year old daughter to Julia Gabriel Speech and Drama without thinking twice.

When I joined the YEO (Young Entrepreneur's Orgn) a few years back (YEO is an exclusive club open to those who are under 40 and make over $1m a year in their own business), I discovered that those who were self-made thought like me. Many of them with net worth well over $5 m, travelled economy class and some even drove Toyotas and Nissans, not Audis, Mercs, BMWs..

I noticed that it was only those who never had to work hard to build their own wealth (there were also a few ministers' and tycoons' sons in the club) who spent like there was no tomorrow. Somehow, when you did not have to build everything from scratch, you do not really value money. This is precisely the reason why a family's wealth (no matter how much) rarely lasts past the third generation.

Thank God my rich dad foresaw this terrible possibility and refused to give me a cent to start my business.

Then some people ask me, 'What is the point in making so much money if you don't enjoy it?' The thing is that I don't really find happiness in buying branded clothes, jewellery or sitting first class. Even if buying something makes me happy it is only for a while, it does not last.

Material happiness never lasts, it just gives you a quick fix. After a while you feel lousy again and have to buy the next thing which you think will make you happy. I always think that if you need material things to make you happy, then you live a pretty sad and unfulfilled life..

Instead, what makes me happy is when I see my children laughing and playing and learning so fast. What makes me happy is when I see my companies and trainers reaching more and more people every year in so many more countries.

What makes me really happy is when I read all the emails about how my books and seminars have touched and inspired someone's life.

What makes me really happy is reading all your wonderful posts about how this blog is inspiring you. This happiness makes me feel really good for a long time, much much more than what a Rolex would do for me.


I think the point I want to put across is that happiness must come from doing your life's work (be it teaching, building homes, designing, trading, winning tournaments etc.) and the money that comes is only a by-product. If you hate what you are doing and rely on the money you earn to make you happy by buying stuff, then I think that you are living a life of meaninglessness

Lawyer

A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by an Irish cop. He thinks that he is much smarter than any cop because he is a lawyer from LONDON, and is certain that he has a better education then any Irish cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the cop's expense!

The Irish cop says,"License and registration, please."

The London Lawyer says, "What for?"

The Irish cop says, "Ye didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

The London Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

The Irish cop says, "Ye still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration, please, sir."

The London Lawyer says, "What's the bloody difference?"

The Irish cop says, "The difference is, the sign says stop, not slow down, so, ye havte come to a complete stop, that's the law. License and registration, please.
The London Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."

The Irish cop says, "Sounds fair enough, please exit your vehicle.


The London Lawyer exits his vehicle. The Irish cop takes out his baton and starts beating the living shit out of the lawyer and says, "Now, ye English arsehole, do ye want me to stop, completely, or just fookin slow down?

Fun

: An Arab  was teaching his son to masturbate.
Kid - Abba this is great fun.

Arab :Yes son......and Inshah-allah when you are 13, you can do this with your own dick !!!

Blue Ticks

Why are people so worried about the 'blue ticks' on Whatsapp?
Calm down.
It's a messaging service.
Not a Pregnancy Test

Beti

A FATHER Asked His DAUGHTER:
Who Would U Love More, Me Or Ur Husband..??

The BEST Reply Given By the DAUGHTER:
I Don't Know Really,
But When I See U,
I Forget Him,
But When I See Him,
I Remember U..

U Can Always Call Ur DAUGHTER As Beta,
But U Can Never Call Ur Son As Beti..

That's Why DAUGHTERS are SPECIAL..

BETI ki mohabbat ko
kabhi Aazmana nahi,

woh phool hai usse
kabhi Rulana nahi,

BAAP ka toh Maan
hoti hai BETI,

Zinda
Hone ki Pehchan Hoti
hai BETI,

Uski Ankhe
kabhi Num na Hone
dena,

Uski zindagi se
khushiya kabhi kam
na Hone dena,

Ungli pakad ke kal jis ko
Chalaya tha tumne,

Phir Usko hee Doli mai
Beethana hai tumhe,

Bahut Chota sa Safar
Hota hai BETI ka saath

Bahot kum Waqt ke
Liye hoti hai woh
hamare Pass..!!


Imaandar

Mujhe Main Road pe ek Purse mila hai jisme 15000 cash,ek iphone 5s,ek Credit Card aur kisi Pallavi Mishra ke naam ka ID mila hai.

Radio Jockey : Wah... Aap kitne imaandaar hain...
toh aap unhe wo purse waapis karna chahenge, Right ??

Man : Nahi!!

......Main chahta hu ki Pallavi Mishra ke liye ek SAD SONG Bajaya jaaye..

Convent

नयी-नयी शादी के बाद नव-विवाहित जोड़ी सब्जी लेने गयी।
सब्जीवाला: बाबूजी, बहू तो कान्वेंट में पढ़ी होंगी।
पति (पूरी तरह ख़ुशी से सीना फुला कर): भाई कैसे पहचाना?

सब्जीवाला: थैले में नीचे टमाटर और ऊपर कददू जो रख रही हैं।

Wife

Shall I prepare dal, Sambhar or Rasam today .

Husband : First make it, we will name it later.....

Workers

A Safety warning notice in a factory for female workers:

"If your skirt is long, stay away from the engines

and

if it is short, stay away from the engineers.

Child

When I was small :-

I'd put my arms in my
shirt and told people
I lost my arms

Would restart the video
game whenever I knew I was
going to lose

Had that one pen with
four colors, and tried to push all
the buttons at once

Waited behind a door to
scare someone, then leaving
because they're taking too long
to come out.

Faked being asleep,so I
could be carried to bed.

Used to think that the moon
followed our car

Tried to balance the switch
between On/Off

Watching two drops of
rain roll down window and
pretending it was a race

The only thing i had to
take care of was a school bag.

Swallowed a fruit seed I
was scared to death that a tree
was going to grow in my
tummy.

Closed the fridge
extremely slowly to see
when the lights went off.

Walked into a room,. forgot
what you needed, Walked out,
and then remember.

Remember when we were
kids and couldn't wait to grow
up? and now we think why did
we even grow up?

Childhood Was The Best Part Of
our Life

i know u have a smile on ur face
while reading the msg....if u
want someone close to u smile
too...go ahead..share the joyful
memories

Finally, I found the answer to
the most asked question in my
childhood ..

What do you want to become
when you grow up?


A child again.

Sharabi

कुछ दिनों पहले ही एक दोस्त बोल रहा था,
"अमिताभ बच्चन बिना शराब पिये शराबी होने की कितनी अच्छी एक्टिंग करता है"

अब उसे कौन समझाये, बिना शराब पिये शराबी होने की एक्टिंग करने से ज्यादा मुश्किल
 शराब पीने के बाद घर जा के ना पिए होने की एक्टिंग करना होता है

Wah Wah

Very nice heart touching poetry

Ahista chal zindagi, abhi kai karz chukana baaki hai.

Kuch dard mitana baaki hai, kuch farz nibhana baaki hai.

Raftaar mein tere chalne se kuchh rooth gaye, kuch chhut gaye.

Roothon ko manana baaki hai, roton ko hasana baki hai.

Kuch hasraatein abhi adhuri hain, kuch kaam bhi aur zaruri hai.

Khwahishen jo ghut gayi is dil mein, unko dafnana baki hai.

Kuch rishte ban kar toot gaye, kuch judte-judte chhut gaye.

Un tootte-chhutte rishton ke zakhmon ko mitana baki hai.

Tu aage chal main aata hoon, kya chhod tujhe ji paunga?

In saanson par haqq hai jinka, unko samjhaana baaki hai.


Aahista chal zindagi, abhi kai karz chukana baki hai...

Suresh

Suresh: Why did u run away from operation table??

Ramesh : The nurse was repeatedly saying-"don't get nervous" ,"don't be afraid. "Be strong" This is a small operation only.."

Suresh : So what was wrong in that???? Why are you so afraid??


Ramesh: She was talking to the surgeon! 😷😝

Wednesday 24 December 2014

Rajnikant

Frustrated Rajnikant:

😡."Kuch to Rehem karo Madarchodo...!..Ab Ye Kisne Likha Ki Rajnikant can fuck without lund...😆
😂😂😂😂😂

Monday 15 December 2014

Pari

😜😜😜😜😜😜😜👌👌👌
Pintu- Madam, Babo Ke Baby Mummy Na Pet Ma Kevi Rite Aavi Jaay Che ?
Madam- Aakash ma thi
1 Pari aave, ne pet ma
1 indun muki jaai.
9 mahina pachhi emathi
Balak nikle.
Pintu- Toh Madam..
.
Lagan Pachhi..
Chodvani Kone..!
Pari Ne.. Ke Bairi Ne ?
😝😝😝😝

Leone

नाथन लियोन ने पहली पारी में पांच विकेट लिए, दूसरी पारी में भी सात विकेट।

आखिर हम भारतीय लियोन सरनेम के सामने क्यों बेबस हो जाते हैं??  😂😜😂😜

Gujju

😛😛😛
Jabbar Gujrati..

PiCNiC ma Professor: Boys aavi thandi ma Dinner mate su karisu?

Boys-Saheb
Chhokariyu taiyar hoy, to room ma
'PURI Ne UNDHIYU' Kariye😄😃😀

Saturday 13 December 2014

Many

ज़िंदगी रही तो तुम्हारा साथ निभाऊंगा दोस्तो
अगर कभी भूल गया तो समझ लेना कि,
शादी हो गयी 😜😜😀

**************************

🅰 man writing in his diary:

Shaadi se pehle duaa maangi thi ki achha
PAKANE wali biwi dena.

Saala,  'khana' mention karna hi bhool gaya!😜

********************

Arz Kiya Hai....

Normal friend thi wo meri, achanak se mere liye khaas ho gayi.

Zindagi bhar fail hoti thi, kambakht pregnancy test me pass ho gayi....😂😂😝

Senseless

कुछ लोगों का Common Sense Zero होता हैं!?!
.
.
कैसे?
.
.
Gents Toilet में लिख जाते है
"पल्लवी I Love U"
अब पल्लवी Gents Toilet में क्या माँ चुदाने आएगी????

Gal vs Boy Dictionary

👩 girls dictionary vs 👱boys dictionary

👩 xcuse me ➖ 👱 khas ne chodya

👩 stupid ➖ 👱 Bhosmarina

👩 Get Out ➖ 👱 nikad Chodina

👩 I Am In Problem ➖ 👱 lode lagi gayo bhai.

👩 I am scared ➖ 👱 Gand Fati Gai Loda

👩 Not Possible ➖ 👱 Chal chodya na hoy

👩 he is very bad parson ➖👱 Madarchod 6 lodo

👩 I am sorry ➖ 👱 ma choday

👩 where are u.? ➖ 👱 kya marave 6.?

👩 No ➖ 👱 Ghanto

👩 Too small➖👱 jatha jetlu

👩 too big ➖ 👱 gand fati gai

👩 we rock ➖ ma chodi nakhi

👩 oyy listen ➖ sambhad chodu

👩 pagal ➖ 👱 chodu bhagat

👩 friend ➖ 👱 Lodo
😝😝😝😝😝😝😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Breakup

Super Abusive Breakup

Girl : Don't talk, u Asshole, I wear heels longer than your Dick. 😠😠

Boy : Shut up Bitch, your Pussy has been Used More than Google😡😡
😝😜😝😜😝😜😝😜😝

New Year

Guys start planning your new year resolutions. ...maine to plan kar liya..👇👇

My resolution......

Heads aaya toh Whisky ...
Tails aaya toh Vodka ...
Jameen pe gira toh Rum....
Aur hawaa mein hi raha toh Maa Kasam ....
31st se Daaru ekdum bandh...😜😝😛😂😆