tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-77065546755837892642024-03-20T03:01:36.917-07:00jOrdar jOkesDownload My Android App & Enjoy : http://files.appsgeyser.com/JordarJokes.apkUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger1117125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7706554675583789264.post-69263289526413522722015-04-21T04:02:00.001-07:002015-04-21T04:02:56.715-07:00Pati / Patni<p dir="ltr">पत्नी मायके जाती है और <br>
मैसेज भेजती है:</p>
<p dir="ltr">"मेरी मोहब्ब्त को अपने दिल में <br>
ढूंढ लेना;<br>
और हाँ, आटे को अच्छी तरह <br>
गूँथ लेना!</p>
<p dir="ltr">मिल जाए अगर प्यार तो <br>
खोना नहीं;<br>
प्याज़ काटते वक्त बिलकुल <br>
रोना नहीं!</p>
<p dir="ltr">मुझसे रूठ जाने का बहाना <br>
अच्छा है;<br>
थोड़ी देर और पकाओ आलू <br>
अभी कच्चा है!</p>
<p dir="ltr">मिलकर फिर खुशियों को <br>
बाँटना है;<br>
टमाटर जरा बारीक़ ही <br>
काटना है!</p>
<p dir="ltr">लोग हमारी मोहब्ब्त से <br>
जल न जाएं;<br>
चावल टाइम पे देख लेना <br>
कहीं गल न जाएं!</p>
<p dir="ltr">कैसी लगी हमारी ग़जल बता <br>
देना;<br>
नमक कम लगे तो और मिला <br>
लेना!<br><br><br></p>
<p dir="ltr">पति का रिप्लाई:</p>
<p dir="ltr"> तुम्हारी यही अदा तो दिल <br>
को भा गईं थी।<br>
तुम्हारे जाते ही पड़ोसन खाना <br>
पकाने आ गई थी।<br>
😜😜😜</p>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7706554675583789264.post-50590302667702284682015-04-21T04:01:00.001-07:002015-04-21T04:01:35.052-07:00Pathan<p dir="ltr">Pathaan Dr. se:- 5 saal se sex kar raha hun par hamara bachcha nahi ho raha.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Dr:- Ye to pareshani ki baat hai, <br>
apne partner ko bulaiye.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Pathan:- Aasif Bhai, andar aao.<br>
😜😝</p>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7706554675583789264.post-33752139378286171362015-04-21T00:20:00.001-07:002015-04-21T00:20:28.609-07:00ABCD<p dir="ltr">Loda ni ABCD...</p>
<p dir="ltr">A - ae loda..!!😮<br>
B - bes ne loda...!!😄<br>
C - chal ne loda..!!🚶🏃<br>
D - dofo loda..!!😛<br>
E - eno lai le loda..!!😤<br>
F - futt ne loda..!!😠<br>
G - ghanto loda..!!😡<br>
H - hasis nai loda..!!😅<br>
I - i gyo loda..!!😌<br>
J - jaane loda..!!😏<br>
K - ke ne loda..!!😳<br>
L - le maro loda..!!😃<br>
M - ma kasam loda..!!😪<br>
N - na loda..!!😁<br>
O - ok loda..!!😀<br>
P - paisa nathi loda..!!😋<br>
Q - qestions na kare loda..!!😑<br>
R - roish nai loda..!!😜<br>
S - su 6e loda..??😁<br>
T - tara lidhe loda..😠<br>
U - uth loda..😴<br>
V - vandho nai loda...😊<br>
W - waah loda..!!😎<br>
X - xxx bp mokal ne loda...!!😋<br>
Y - yo yo hunny singh loda..!!😎<br>
Z - zor dar loda...!!😉<br></p>
<p dir="ltr">😛😛😛😛</p>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7706554675583789264.post-17437885569151520932015-04-21T00:19:00.001-07:002015-04-21T00:19:39.523-07:00Gal vs Boy<p dir="ltr">In a girls whats app group...<br>
Girl 1: ☺I went on date yesterday..<br>
Girl 2:😳 which restaurant..?<br>
Girl 3: 😧which theater..?<br>
Girl 4: 😕kaha kaha gaye..?<br>
Girl 5: 😳kya kya khaya..?<br>
Girl 6:😟 Gift diya..?<br>
Girl 7: 😯 Bill kitna tha..?<br>
Girl 8: 😕 propose kiya..?</p>
<p dir="ltr">After full inspection,<br>
All Girls: 😰 Be careful, he might be a bad guy..<br>
Girl1: 😕 OK !!<br></p>
<p dir="ltr">Same situation :-<br>
Boy 1: ☺ I went on date yesterday..<br>
Boy 2:😃 chodyu..?<br>
Boy 3:😃 chodyu..?<br>
Boy 4:😃 chodyu..?<br>
Boy 5:😃 chodyu..?<br>
Boy 6:😃 chodyu..?<br>
Boy 7:😃 chodyu..?<br>
Boy 8:😃 chodyu..?<br>
.<br>
.<br>
Boy 1: na yaar,<br>
khaali dabaya...!! 😜😂😝😝😂😂😂</p>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7706554675583789264.post-5998689028157403092015-04-21T00:18:00.001-07:002015-04-21T00:18:45.170-07:00Pappu<p dir="ltr">After hearing Rahul for 3 hrs in a rally, all the farmers collected 100 each and gave to Sonia Gandhi, saying "you should also be compensated.. Fasal to aapki bhi kharab Hui hai"...</p>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7706554675583789264.post-75713032380524578952014-12-26T17:29:00.002-08:002014-12-26T17:29:57.079-08:00Penis V/s Vagina<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
: I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary on the
following reasons:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">•</span>I do physical labor.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">•</span>I work at great depths.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">•</span>I work in high temperatures.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">•</span>I work in a damp environment.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">•</span>I plunge headfirst into everything
I do.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">•</span>I do not get weekends or public
holidays off.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">•</span>My work exposes me to contagious
diseases.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">•</span>I work in a dark workplace that has
poor ventilation.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sincerely,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Penis<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Response<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dear Penis,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments
you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following
reasons:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">•</span>You are unable to work double
shifts.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">•</span>You do not work 8 hours straight.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">•</span>You will retire well before you are
60.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">•</span>You fall asleep after brief work
periods.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">•</span>You do not always follow the orders
of the management team.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">•</span>You do not stay in your designated
area and are often seen visiting other locations.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">•</span>You do not take initiative - you
need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">•</span>You leave the workplace rather
messy at the end of your shift.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">•</span>You do not always observe necessary
safety regulations, such as wearing the required protective clothing/ headgear.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">•</span>You sometimes leave your designated
work area before you have completed an assigned task.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">•</span>And if that were not all, you have
been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two
suspicious-looking bags.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sincerely,<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
VaGina.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7706554675583789264.post-90376590328407870582014-12-26T17:29:00.000-08:002014-12-26T17:29:23.582-08:00Choos<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bapu was looking at mobiles displayed in a shop.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Salesman: Please come inside & choose.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bapu : Bhosdina tu
bahar aav ne maro choos...!!!!😂😂<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7706554675583789264.post-72817287759027807822014-12-26T17:27:00.001-08:002014-12-26T17:27:31.533-08:00Kadak<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ekdum kadak!! - <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Girl:- mei hu ladki jheel ki,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
chut meri steel ki,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
chod sake na hathi ghode,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
tu kya chodega maa ke loude... <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Boy:-naam hai mera pappan pillo,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
lund ka weight chappan kilo,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
jamin par maru toh kuva khod jaye...<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
tu to kya teri ma bhi chud jaye..<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7706554675583789264.post-54534711635525561012014-12-26T17:26:00.003-08:002014-12-26T17:26:44.729-08:00Baba bhosdiwale<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
Baba bhosdiwale Kahte hai ki-<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"Machhi aur ladki khud pakad k khao toh hi asli maza
hai,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lund aur kanoon kabhi haath me na lo,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Naukri aur Goti pe kabhi laat na maaro,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lohe par hathoda aur chut par lauda tabhi maaro jab woh
garam ho,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Kismat ki karni, chut ki garmi aur lund ki besharmi nahi
rukti,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Aur sambhaal ke sex karo Qki,<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
bandook se nikla foulad aur chut se nikli aulad kabhi wapis
nahi jaati."<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7706554675583789264.post-40309707367526669652014-12-26T17:26:00.001-08:002014-12-26T17:26:18.193-08:00Murga<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ek Kisaan 1 murga leke aaya. Us murge ne aate hi 150 murgiyo
koj chod diya.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ye dekh kar kishan bahut khush hua. Sham tak us murge ne
sari batakho (duck)or Baki janwaro ko b chod diya,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
ye dekhkar kishan kuch pareshan hua. Agle din jab subah hui
to murga khet me mara pda tha<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
or upar giddh mandra rhe the. Use dekhkar Kishan bola,
"mar gaya bhosdi k,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
harkate b to teri aisi thi" tabhi murge ne ek aankh
kholi or bola "chup madarchod ,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Acting kar raha hu bhenchod,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
inme se ek ko niche to aane de ,<o:p></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-IN; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Fir dekh kaisi gaand marta hu inki"</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7706554675583789264.post-83091795526606969162014-12-26T17:25:00.001-08:002014-12-26T17:25:13.906-08:00Sadhu<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ek Sadhu se ek bhakt ne Pucha-<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Aap Hamesha Zameen Pe Kyu Bethtey Ho ?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sadhu Ne Bahut Khubsurat Jawab Diya-<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
"Tujhe Koi Taqleef Hai madarchod ?<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7706554675583789264.post-82623337683221295432014-12-26T17:23:00.001-08:002014-12-26T17:23:24.426-08:00Engineer<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Girlfriend: ''Can You Tell Me?? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What is My Bra Size??''<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Boyfriend: ''36.....''<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Girlfriend: ''WOW!!! How do you know???<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Boyfriend: ''Yesterday I Opened it.''<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Girlfriend: ''But in my Bra, there is no Number?''<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Boyfriend: ''So what Babe..... I am an Engineer, from Load I
can Calculate Area...''<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Engineer's ki jai
ho!!!! <o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7706554675583789264.post-21624502400064507922014-12-26T17:21:00.001-08:002014-12-26T17:21:51.145-08:00Beep Beep<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
Salary day special !!!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
9.00 : *beep beep*..
Msg received...<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Salary credited to ur
a/c<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Me : Yipeeee..<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
9.01 : *beep beep*<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Home EMI auto
debited..<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
9.02 : *beep beep*<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Car loan EMI auto
debited..<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
9.03 : *beep beep*<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Credit card bill auto
debited..<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
9.04 : *beep beep*<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Phone bill auto
debited..<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
9.05 : *beep beep*<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Electricity bill auto
debited..<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
9.06 : *beep beep*<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
LIC EMI auto
debited..<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
9.07 : *beep beep*<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Medical insurance EMI
debited..<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
9.08 : *beep beep*<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Pls maintain minimum
balance...!!!<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7706554675583789264.post-63250561281753101682014-12-26T17:20:00.003-08:002014-12-26T17:20:55.128-08:00Whatsapp Vs Facebook<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
: DIFFERENCE BETWEEN Facebook and Whats app CONVERSATION<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On "What'sapp"<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Wife: Kab se wait kar rahi hun . Ghar kab aa rahe ho ?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Husband: Abhi kucch pata nahi , dimaag mat chaato. Jab dekho pareshaan karti
rehti ho.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On "FaceBook"<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Wife: Dear when will you be back ? You are the best husband
in the world. Miss you. Come back soon. 😘<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(Status liked by 10 of her friends)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-IN; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Husband: Thanks for being there always .... so
lucky to have a wonderful wife like you ! Will be back soon honey. </span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7706554675583789264.post-68200060845985256732014-12-26T17:20:00.000-08:002014-12-26T17:20:01.526-08:00Gujju<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
Gujrati mitro ni vaato ma aavta ketlaak ALANKARIK shbdo :<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1. maa chodava gyu, hu jaav chhu.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
2. Tu taari gand marav.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
3. Shu aavi chodu jevi vaat kare chhe.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
4. Loda ubho rene 2 minit.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
5. Are yaar maro baap mari gand mari leshe.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
6. Ae aeni maa chodave, tu taru kar.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
7. To maru na manvu hoy ne to pikka ma jaa .<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
8. Maaro aa.....<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
9. Magaj ni maa chod ma.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
10. E game e hoy mara lode thi .<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
11. Bhosdina! Fon kem
no'to upadto? Gand ma hawa chhe?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
12. Haal ne loda tane kaai nay thay.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
13. Baaki hoy to haji gand maari le....<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
14. Haalti pikki no thaa! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
15. Ghari jaa loda aeni gand ma.. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
& last 1. Is the best<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Chodinaav kyarek to maavo khavdaavo .<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7706554675583789264.post-28513441006198816602014-12-26T17:19:00.003-08:002014-12-26T17:19:18.977-08:00Openings<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
I Received a call from a recruitment consultant. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She said to me: "Sir I have two openings for
you...!"<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I replied : Yes. I know 😊<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
There was a long silence and then she said..... Madarchod..<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7706554675583789264.post-14423480430664636572014-12-26T17:19:00.001-08:002014-12-26T17:19:02.750-08:00Bhenchod<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
The beautiful thing abt India is that when someone says...<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"Tu gawaar hai bhenchod"<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
the next guy takes offense on the word:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"Gawaar kisko bola" - <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bhenchod is not important 😃😃<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7706554675583789264.post-47755288898460934052014-12-26T17:17:00.004-08:002014-12-26T17:17:44.777-08:00NFS<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
Girl : I want to breakup with you. Don't ever call me, you
asshole. Fuck off.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Boy : Arre main busy tha, new Lamborghini Aventador li hai
maine!!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Girl : Awwww! My jaanu! So cute ! Kab li? Kahan hai? Baby
meet me na pls...<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Boy : Mobile pe li, NFS khelte huye unlock ki...😜<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-IN; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Girl : Behen ke Laude... </span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7706554675583789264.post-47284690283962266992014-12-26T17:17:00.002-08:002014-12-26T17:17:19.097-08:00Sex Story<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
A handsome boy & a hot girl<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
were going in a car for some fun.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Suddenly it started raining & both got wet.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They found an empty hut & went inside.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Girl had a nice figure & was luking awesome in her wet
white T-shirt & denim shorts.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The boy was also well built & was aroused by his gf's
sexy body.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He came close 2 her & wrapped his arms around her waist.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He caught her close & put his hand on her wet waist
& started lifting her wet T-shirt feeling her smooth skin.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Girl put her hands on boy's<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
shoulder & offered her lips 4 a kiss.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
To continue. Pay Rs 49 at Navrang Cinema Hall & Enjoy
the full Bhojpuri Movie -"Sawan Barse Hum Tohar Chummi ko Tarse"😃<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7706554675583789264.post-13686569745336206272014-12-26T17:15:00.002-08:002014-12-26T17:15:59.636-08:00Mahabharat<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dronacharya: The Mentor. The employee who doesn't like
working himself but is always ready to guide and train new joiners.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bhishma: The Loyal. The employee in a relatively senior
position who happily assists the boss in spite of knowing his incompetence
(because of some strange oath maybe)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dhritarashtra: The blind boss. He knows that everything is
wrong with his project but will still let it function, without making any
changes to the current processes.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Gandhari: The Yesmen/Women. Boss's immediate juniors who
know that they are a part of an evil plan but will stay blindfolded and pretend
as if nothing is happening.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yuddhisthira: The ethical guy. Poor chap would never fudge
timesheets and call in sick only when he is dying.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bheema: The angry resource. Always ready to pick up a fight
with his peers, subordinates or even the bosses.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Arjuna: The cool dude. The star performer who also knows how
to sell his skills. A natural charmer, very famous among the ladies.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nakul & Sahdev: The good average resource. No one
notices them. They keep doing their work and get average appraisals.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Duryodhana: The Bully. Knows how to get work done, by hook
or by crook. Doesn't mind threatening the likes of Nakul and Sahdev to get his
work done.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Karna: The unsung hero. The best performer in the office but
never claims credit for his work. Stays an unsung hero for all his life. Girls
take him for a snobbish nerd.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Shakuni: The evil plotter. Copies management in every mail.
Escalates every trivial issue, sometimes to take credits and sometimes purely
for fun.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dhristadyumna: The One inning wonder. The one who performs
an extraordinary feat, and then basks in the glory of it for the rest of his
life.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Draupadi: The shared resource. Keeps hopping projects on
boss's advice.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Krishna: The Ultimate Boss (MD/CEO) who knows that it is his
game while he makes everyone believe that they are playing important roles too.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Who says history never repeats itself... It does everyday.
In the office.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7706554675583789264.post-16756327199712510892014-12-26T17:13:00.002-08:002014-12-26T17:13:59.645-08:00Returns<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
[Averge marital life 30 yrs]<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
COST: Marige expenses- Rs.1000000<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mthly expen-Rs.20000<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Wifes mthly maintainence- Rs.5000<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
RETURNS:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
SEX First 5 yrs- Weekly 3 Times.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Next 5 yrs- Weekly 1 Time.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Next 10 yrs -Once in 15 days.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Next 10 yrs -Once in a month.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
MEANING:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1400 times sex in 30 yrs 4 an estimated expenditure of
7200000 + 1000,000 spent on wedding @ 7% for 30 years as per current FD Int
rate<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
= 62420000<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
CALCULATIONS:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A Man spends Rs.54000 for each time he has Sex with his
Wife.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
CONCLUSION: <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Outsourcing is cheaper!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Paisa aapka faisla aapka..!!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ye jankari janhit me jaari.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jaago Grahak Jaago!<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7706554675583789264.post-48053166622672378882014-12-26T17:12:00.001-08:002014-12-26T17:13:18.009-08:00Women<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
365 nights of an Indian woman:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
60 nights periods<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
55 nights headaches<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
50 nights I am tired<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
40 nights I have to get up early<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
35 nights I am not well<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
25 nights the kids are awake<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
20 nights will do tomorrow<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
35 nights aaj fast hai<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
45 nights aaj mummy k ghar jana hai..!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ab batao Banda Bangkok na jaye to kya kare.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ye msg jisne b banaya hoga ..kamine ne kitna dimag lagaya
hoga...<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7706554675583789264.post-56049388968709952912014-12-26T17:07:00.002-08:002014-12-26T17:13:33.365-08:00Happy Women<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
You remember that scene from Karan Johar’s Kabhi Khushi
Kabhi Gham?The Diwali scene, where amidst all the celebration, song and dance
Jaya Bachchan smiles benignly and then something in her just awakens, she
starts quivering as Shahrukh Khan steps down from the Raichand chopper, running
to greet his mother. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That glorious, happy, emotional moment which depicts
unconditional love?... <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-IN; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">That! Yes that is exactly how women feel and
react when they see their maids return after their holidays!</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7706554675583789264.post-60506677447683116932014-12-26T17:06:00.000-08:002014-12-26T17:06:32.581-08:00Married<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
A newly wed couple had only been married for two weeks.
Husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out in town and party
and drink with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, 'Honey, I am going
out and will be back soon.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
'Where are you going honey bunch?' asked wife.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a
beer.'<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Wife said, 'You want a beer, my love?' <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She went and opened the door of the refrigerator and showed
him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries - Germany,
Holland, Japan, India, etc.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Husband didn't know what to do, the only thing that he could
think of saying was, 'Yes, lolly pop but at the bar U know they have<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
frozen glasses.'<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He didn't get to finish the sentence, because wife
interrupted him by saying - 'You want a frozen glass puppy face?' <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that
she was getting chills just holding it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Husband, looking bit pale, said, 'Yesss.. Tootsie roll, but
at the Bar they have those reshmi kababs, that are really delicious.. I won't
be long. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I'll be right back. I promise.. Okkk?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
'You want reshmi kababs poochie pooh?' She opened the oven
and took out 5 dishes of different types of ready to eat kababs, chicken wings,
cutlet, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
'But my sweet honey.. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At the barrr... U know... There's swearing, dirty words and
all that..'<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
'You want dirty words, you bastard?? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Drink your fucking beer Bhenchod in your damn frozen mug
Madarchod and eat your shitty snacks, bcoz you have got married now and you
aren't going anywhere!! <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Got it, Bhen ke laude?'<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7706554675583789264.post-72898294022547266142014-12-26T16:52:00.002-08:002014-12-26T16:52:45.666-08:00Men are Men<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
A sexy Irish blonde at a Casino, seemed a little intoxicated
😎<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She bet 20,000 Euro on a single Roll of dice.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She said - "I hope you don't mind, but I feel Luckier
when I'm nude."<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
With that, she removed her clothes, rolled the dice and
yelled-<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"Come on baby, Mama needs new clothes!"<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As the Dice came to a stop, she jumped and yelled -
"Yes, Yes,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I Won.. I Won.."<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She hugged each dealer and picked up her winnings and
clothes and left.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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The dealers gazed at each other, dumbfounded. Finally, one
of them asked-<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"What number rolled on the dice?"<o:p></o:p></div>
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The other - "I don't know, I thought you were
watching."<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Moral of the story:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1.Not All drunks are Drunk😉,<o:p></o:p></div>
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2.Not all Blondes are dumb😳,
<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
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3.But all Men are Men!!!😅<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
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