40

40 SEXY MSGS

Ek aurat Dr Se: “Mera Pati 300% Napusank Hai”
Doctor Hairan Hoke: “Arrey, Wo Kaise?”
Aurat Rote Hue Boli: “Ek To Uska Khada Nahi Hota. Dusara Uski Ungli Bhi Tuti Hai. Teesra KalUs MadarchodNe Garam Garam Chai Pee Ke Apni Jibh Bhi Jala Li.“


Ek Moti Lady Ek Bar Bazar Mein Bra Lene Gayi, Aur Dukan Par Jake Bra Dekhne Lagi.
Dekhte Dekhte Achanak Boli: “Bhaiya, Wo Wali Bra Mere Size Ki Lagti Hai, Dikhana Zara”
Dukandar: “Maff Karna Bahanji, Wo Bra Nahi, Mere Scooter Ki Steppney Ka Cover Hai“


Pappu: “Mom, Aap Blouse Mein PaiseKyun Rakhti Ho?”
Mom: “Taaki Tere Papa Ko Pata Na Chale”
Pappu: “Mom Aap Bhi Na, Bechare Papa Roz Kaamwali Ke Blouse Mein Dhoondte Rahte Hai“


Ek Dukhi Lady Baba Ke Pas Gayi Aur Boli
Lady: “Baba Mera Pati Kab Sudhrenga?”
Baba: “Pati Ko Layi Ho?”
Lady: “Nahi.”
Baba: “Koi Baat Nahi, Apna Blouse Kholiye”
Lady: “Kyun?”
Baba: “Bachha, Pati Ki Hath Ki Rekhayein Dekhni Hai Na“


Apni Suhagrat Ko Pati Achhe Tarike Se Sex Kar Nahi Paya
Subha Dulhe Ki Maa Ne Bahurani Se Puchha
Saas: “Bahu, Suhagrat Kaisi Rahi?“
Bahu Udasi Se: “Maa Ji Kya Batau, Grah Parvesh To 2 Baar Hua, Par Grah Shanti Nahi Ho Paayi“


Girl Hostel Me Ek Phone Aaya – “Meena Hai Kya?”
Warden Ne Pucha – “Piche Kya Lagati Hai Wo?”
Phone Wala – “Ab Tho Pata Nahi Ji Par Pehle Sarson Ka Tel Lagati Thi“


Aeroplane me ek scientist aur ek bachha sath baithe the
Sct:- Kuchh baat kare , time paas ho jayega
Boy:-Kis topic par
Sct:-Nuclear power par
Boy: Theek
he,magar pehle mere ek sawal ka jawab do ki jab Bakra, Bhaisa aur Gadha, teeno ghaas khate h,
phir Bakre ka Lund itna chhota q?
Bhaise ka itna mota q? aur
Gadhe ka itna lamba q hota h?
Sct:-what nonsense, mujhe nhi pta
Boy: bhosdiwale Pata tujhe Lund ka nhi or Baatein nuclear power ki chodni hai


Response after sex

1) call girl; paise

2) girl frends; jaldi kapde do

3) padosan; fir kab aoge

4) wife; ab 2 din kuch mat bolna

5) kamwali; ab to pagar bada do..


Suhag raat ko dulha bola: Priye bolo, aaj tujhe chand pe le jaun ya taaron me?
Dulhan: Pehle apna Rocket dikhao, phir decide karungi.


Kuware sochte hai k shadishuda ache h
Shadishuda sochte hai k kuware ache h
Fark sirf itna hai ki Shadishuda din m sochte hai or kuware raat ko...


Boyfriend1:- can i touch your boobs
Girlfriend1 :- Shut up!!!!
Boyfriend2 :- can i touch ur heartbeats
Girlfriend2 :- ooooh!! how sweet!!

Rishta wahi soch nai


Teacher: Machchhar k Katne Se Maleria hota hai Aids kyu Nahi ?

Student: Qki Machchhar Dunk Marta hai Gaand nahi. Aage se Bakchodi Wale Sawal mat Puchhna.


LIC launches a new sexy Policy Jeevan Sambhog In partnership with MANFORCE condoms and UNWANTED-72
The new punch line:- Thokne ke Saath Bhi, Thokne ke Baad Bhi.


Shop pe Ladki ne 36 ki Bra li or trial room me kameez uttar ke dukandar ko andr bulaya.

Dukandar ne Boobs dekh ke chusna shuru kar diye jin pe behoshi ki dawa lagi hui thi, Wo behosh ho gaya.

Ladki ne shop ka tamam Cash liya & jate hue shishe pe likh gai:

Khula Dudh Sehat ke lie Hanikarak Hai !!


Girl: condoms Dena..
Shopkeeper(masti main): kis liye -e-e-e
Girl(Gusse se): Tere baap ko gift karungi, taki tere jaisa dusra CHUTIYA paida na kare....

 
Fauji's wife daily sends her nude photo with both legs wide open ...

"Janu, I'll wait like this till you come!"

Fauji: Wo to theek hai, par photo kaun kheench raha hai??


Girl Friend: I demand gud manners in bed, just like at the dinner table ...

Sardar climbs into bed slowly & says: Honey, would you pass the boobs please??


Husband is praying before going to bed ...

Wife: What are you praying for?

Husband: For guidance.

Wife: Pray for hardness. Leave guidance to me!!


The best excuse given by a lady for missing office on Monday ...

My husband took an overdose of Viagra ... couldn't leave him alone with the Maid!!


A boy comes to his class with broken spectacles ...

Teacher: What happened?

Boy: I was kissing my Girlfriend.

Teacher: But how did your spectacles break?

Boy: She closed her legs!!


What's the difference between a man & a woman ...

A man always has the same DICK between his legs all his life ...

A woman MAY NOT!!


Wife: Nashta kar lo.

Husband: Sex hi mera nashta hai & he starts sex.

Dopahar ko wife: Lunch kar lo.

Husband sex hi mera lunch hai & starts sex.

Raat ko jab husband aata hai to wife panty utaar kar
heater ke aage baithi hoti hai.

Husband: What is this?

Wife: Hawas ke poojari, khana garam kar rahin hoon!!


After operation, a girl to Dr: How soon can I resume my sex life?

Dr: You are the first patient to ask this question after tonsil operation!!


Sexy Lady goes to male gynae and says: Dr, a fly has entered my vagina.

Dr: There is only one solution. I can apply some honey on my penis and insert in your vagina. The fly will stick to penis and thus we can take it out.

Lady: Go ahead.

Dr starts.

After five minutes, sexy lady asks: Kya hua Dr, fly kab bahaar niklega?

Dr: Plan changed. I am going to drown him..


Boy- U R wearing Red Bra ?
Girl - How do u know?
Boy-Thanx 2 RAJNIKANT Eyecare!
Girl-U r not wearing underwear
Boy - Hey U too RAJNIKANT eyecare!
Girl - Chain laav aai Zavadya.
Tuza RAJNIKANT baher alaay.


Arz Kiya H

Jise Aane me Lgte H 15 Saal,

Gaur Farmaiyega.

Wah Wah, !!!
"Sun to Le Bhosdi ke"

Jise Aane me Lgte H 15 Saal,

Use Kehte H Jhaat K Baal...


Suhaag Raat Me Wife :
Muje Gabhrahat ho rahi Hai..

Husband : Tumhari PehLi Raat hai na IsLiye ?

Wife : Nahi Ji Raat me Pehli Baar hai IsLiye.


Pati: Sex ho jaye?
Wife:Nahi
Pati: Zewar la dunga
W:Nahi
Pati: Car launga
W:Nahi
Beta so raha tha..beech me bola: Papa meri gand mar lo par CYCLE la do...


Ladki to Dr: Bachcha 2 din se doodh nhi pi raha
Dr ne Bra me hath daala aur kafi der taK bobbs ko masal ke bola
Doodh hi nai hai
Ladki:"Main to iski Mausi hoon"


Wife: Please zara ye bra ka hook laga dijiye.
Hus: I will charge 4 kisses.
Wife: Rahne do, padosi Se free me lagva leti hu, wo haath daal kar Set bhi kar denge.


CONDOM salesman:
Condom chahiye kya???

Marwadi: kam bhav ka khushbudar rahega to de.

Salesman:
Laude pe agarbatthi ka plastic lagake chod Bhosdike...


MAUN-VRAT ke dinl
Wife ne Boobs hilake dikhaya
Husbd ne apna bahar nikal k dikhaya
Wife guse me-Mera matlb hai dudwala kab ayega
Hsbd: mera mtlab hai 1 Ghante me


Girl: What do u prefer? Breasts or Legs??
Kuljit: Choot..!
.
Girl slaps & says: "Randi Khana nahi hai Bhosdi ke, KFC ka counter hai ye"..


Jeevan ki 3 Hakiikat.

School ki Ghanti.
Garib ka Darwaja.
Jawan Ladki.

INKO JAB BHI THOKOGE

BACCHE HI BAHAR NIKLENGE !


The Most emotional line said by a girl to a boy after break-up-

"Jaanu, hilaate waqt to yaad karoge na ?


Ladki mandir me prasad lekar pandit k pair chhukar boli
koi gyan ki baat btao.

Pandit= Beti"Bra pehna karo"jhukti ho to
dhyan aur gyan
dono ki Maa chud jati he !!


Call Girl (to 68 years old man): "Uncle,
aap ek baar try karo na!"

Uncle: "Main KAR nahi paaunga."

Call Girl: "Arre, aao na uncle, try to karo!"

Uncle aa gaye aur callgirl pe toot pade aur uski almost faad dali.

Call Girl: Haaye mar gayi. Aap to bol rahe the-
"kar nahi paaunga"

Uncle: "Wo to main PAYMENT ke baare me bol raha tha.


Salim: Anarkali,CAN I HAVE SEX WITH U?
Anarkali: Aapne bahut badi cheez maang li jahanpanah.
Salim: Agar woh cheez bahut badi ho chuki ho, toh phir rehne do..


SANDAS par pesh he GAZAL
 
Aaj dost kya lagi,k
hum behal ho gaye,
Hag hag k kule hamare laal ho gaye,

In ghutno me ab to dard ho gaya,
Seat pe bethna      dushwar ho gaya,

Pet me na jane kya gud gud hota he,
Ab to har pal jane ka mood hota he,

Dho dho k hamari jaan nikal gayi, 1 pichkari abhi mari thi,
Dekho dusri phir aa gayi

Puchur Puchuk Sarrar na jaane kaisi aawaze aati he,
Padosan kehti hai dhire karo, Choti baby darr jaati he.