: I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary on the
following reasons:
•I do physical labor.
•I work at great depths.
•I work in high temperatures.
•I work in a damp environment.
•I plunge headfirst into everything
I do.
•I do not get weekends or public
holidays off.
•My work exposes me to contagious
diseases.
•I work in a dark workplace that has
poor ventilation.
Sincerely,
Penis
The Response
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments
you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following
reasons:
•You are unable to work double
shifts.
•You do not work 8 hours straight.
•You will retire well before you are
60.
•You fall asleep after brief work
periods.
•You do not always follow the orders
of the management team.
•You do not stay in your designated
area and are often seen visiting other locations.
•You do not take initiative - you
need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
•You leave the workplace rather
messy at the end of your shift.
•You do not always observe necessary
safety regulations, such as wearing the required protective clothing/ headgear.
•You sometimes leave your designated
work area before you have completed an assigned task.
•And if that were not all, you have
been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two
suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,
VaGina.
