Moochi

Mochi Ki Shadi hui Suhagrat me wo Kuch Kiye bagar So Gya BV Ne uska Hath Apne niche lgaya to Wo Chonk K Bola: "Iski silaai K 35 Rupye lunga

Whats up

Girl: "Hey What's Up?"

Boy: "If I Tell You, Then Will You Sit On It?"

Hab tak hai jaan

Jab Tak Hai Jaan... (Parody - From an employee s perspective )

Mujhey Har waqt reporting mein busy rakhne ki teri mastiyan,
Mujhey break na dene ki gustakhiyaan,
Teri bedard overtime ki angdaiyaan,
Nahi bhoolunga main.
Jab tak hai jaan, jab tak hai jaan...

Mere Sick leave par approval na dena,
Mere external training se rukh modna,
Mere vacation leave pe palat ke phir na dekhna,
Nahin maaf karunga main.
Jab tak hai jaan, jab tak hai jaan...

Appraisal Discussions mein bedhadak tere funde se,
Baat baat pe bewajah tere escalation se,
Chhoti chhoti teri bachkani team-meeting se,
Na Mohabbat karunga main,
Jab tak hai jaan, jab tak hai jaan...

Tere growth ke jhoothe kasme vaadon se,
Mere increment ke sulagte khwabon se,
Teri be-raham deadline se,
Nafrat karunga main,
Jab tak hai jaan, jab tak hai jaan.

Randi

Mere ansuo me uski tasver basi hai,
Par wo ma ki lodi kisi or se fasi hai.

Dekhna 1din me us raandi ki kabar khodunga,
or usi kabar pe uski behan ko chodunga!!

Bal Geet

Pahela keva saras bal-geet hata : Chaki Chokha khaande chhe, Mor pagla pade chhe.
And now?
Chako Chaki Ch*de chhe Baglo Muth*ya mare che,ne Mor fota pade che

Blind

Blind man in a Hotel..

Manager- Menu Sir?

Man- I'm blind, just bring me ur kitchen spoon.

I'll Smell it & order.
Manager got a spoon.
Blind Smelt & said "Yes, I'll have lamb with season Potatoes.
"Unbelievable !" said the manager.

Every week he came & was correct each time. Once manager wanted to trick him.
He went to the kitchen and told his wife Maria "Rub this spoon in ur PUSSY"

Blind man smelt & said,
"Oh ! My classmate Maria also works here !"

Teacher

Teacher Asked boy:
Agar ped par 5 birds baithe ho aur tum 1 ko goli mar do to kitne baki bache?

Boy: Koi nahi, sab ud jayenge

Teacher:
Nahi, 4 , lekin tumhari soch mujhe pasand aayi....

Boy: Madam mera 1 sawal Hai.
3 ladies ice cream kha rahi Hai..

1 chaat kar,
1 kat kar
1 choos kar

To konsi shadi shuda Hai ?

Teacher sharmate hue:

Jo choos rahi Hai

boy:
Nahi, jis k gale main mangalsutra hai, lekin apki soch mujhe pasand aayi !!!!:p;)

Maharani

Boy-Apne schol ki sunata hu 1 prem kahani
Ek thi topper jo thi percentage ki RANI
.
.
.
Phir
.
.
Phir kya?
.
.
Humne pata li,
Aur
Fail ho gai MAHARANI..

Fruits

Lady Teacher to Boy: 11 Fruits k Naam Batao?

Boy:
2 Aapke Aam
2 Pooja k Amrood
2 Shanti k Tarbuz
2 Neha k Santre
2 Pinki k Nimbu aur
1 mera Kela..!!

Raand

Lucknow ki Tawaiaf :-  "Bus karein Navab sahab, subha hogai hai.
Nawab :-Tumhe kaise pata chala?
Tawaiaf :-Hamari aankhaon ka kajal beh gaya ha i !

Delhi ki Tawaiaf :-Bas karein jee, subha ho chali hai..
Saudagar :-Aap ko kaise pata laga ?
Tawaiaf :-Hamara Gajraa murjha gaya hai.

Gujarati Tawaiaf :-Bas kar Nattu, sawar thavani chhe..
Nattu :-Tane kevi rite khabar padi ?
Tawaif :-bhosdina, Mane sandas lagi chhe..!!

Thermometer

Nurse: Aapko to tej bukhar hai, Thermometer garmi se ful gaya hai.
Chandu: Chutmari ki Nurse hai ke Raand? Tune thermometer nahi mera Lund pakad liya hai..

Hole

Lakhu chhu kaik Evu Tara mate,
Pasand Aave to Muskaraje Mara mate..
Tara BOL mate to Duniya Lutavi nakhu,
Bas Tara HOLE ma Jagya rakje mara mate.

Hati ka Loda

Ek jungle mein male janwar female janwaar ko 24 ghante chodte rahte the.. !!

Saari female jaanwar  mil ke Bramhaji ke pass gayi aur vardaan mangaa  ke kam se kam ek mahiney ke liye chudai se mukti miley !

Bramhaji ne SAB male janwaron  ke laudey  kaat ke unko coupon de diye aur boley ki  ek mahiney ke baad coupon lanaa  aur apna-apna  lund swayam le jaana.. !

Shaam ke time Bandar ped pe baitha tha..

Bandariya ne usey  chedtey  hue kaha: " Chod saaley, bhenchod ! Ab chod naa mujhe"?
Bandar kuch nahi bola.

Bandariya fir boli "Chod na Bhadve,  chod na behen ke  laudey.." !!

Bandar ne ek choti si smile di aur bola: " Ek maheena ruk ja !  Bhen ki Laudi...Teri Maa Chod dunga....Maine Haathi ka coupon churaya hai..." !

Women

4 Catholic men & a woman having coffee in Rome.
1st man-My son is priest,when he walks in,every1 calls him 'Father'
2nd man-My son is Bishop.When he walks in people call him'Your Grace'.
3rd man-My son is a Cardinal.When he enters everyone bows their head & says-Your Eminence'
4th man-My son is Pope.When he walks in people call him'Your Holiness'
Catholic woman Proudly-Well...I have a daughter, slim, tall,38D breast,24" waist & 34" hips. When she walks in,people say-My God...

Viagra

Ek navi VIAGRA ni
Tablet nikdi chhe,

Ene CHA ma Nakhi ne piwani hoy chhe!

.

Koi khoti Kalpna na
karo,

Tenathi fakt
Chaa ma
BODELU BISKIT
Kadak rahe chhe.

Bar Bar

Zindgi Milti he 1 Bar
Mot Aati he 1 Bar
Pyar hota he 1 Bar
Dil Tutta he 1 Bar
Jb sab kuch hota he 1 Bar
To  Fir
Ye Popat  kyu khada hota he Bar Bar !!!

Right Hole

Why Do Women Put Red Lipstick On Their Lips.???

To Inform Men,
StOp.!

This Is Not The Right Hole..!