Bahar Ka

Mohalle me Andhere me Rape ho gaya.. Police: kya Aap bata sakti hai ki ye kisne kiya?
GAL-koi bahar ka hi tha kyunki, itna BADA hamare Elake me kisi ka nahi ..

Chq Bounce

POLICE-Jab rape 3 din pahle hua to tumne 3 din bad F I R kyo darj karwai

GIRL-un logo ne jo cheque diya tha wo bounce hua tab pata chala ki mera rape hua hai

Lund

Apne naam k First Alphabet se check karo ki aapka kaisa lund hai:

A-Avishkari lund

B-Bhukha lund

C-Changa lund

D-Dangerous lund

E-Entertainment lund

F-Furtila lund

G-Gabru lund

H-Himmat-e- lund

I-Itna sa lund

J-Jhulsa hua lund

K-Kala lund

L-Lamba lund

M-Mastana lund

N-Nazuk lund

O-Original lund

P-Pyasa lund

Q-Qarara lund

R-Rasila lund

S-Sansanata lun

T-Tagda lun

U-Ubad khabad lun

V-Vikraal lun

W-WaZandar lun

X -Xtra lamba lun

Y-Yaadgaar lun

Z-Zalim lund

Hell

Once, a gay man went to heaven. At the Great Gate Saint Peter was waiting for him. After reviewing his records Saint Peter decided to let him in.

"Follow me." he said, opening the gate and walking in. After some walk, Saint Peter s keys accidentally fell on the ground. Unaware, he bent over to pick up the keys. That was something the gay man just couldn t resist, so he jumped on him and did his thing.

Saint Peter was furious. "If you do that again, you ll go straight to hell! Follow me, we re almost there."

After some more Peter dropped his keys again, and again, the gay man jumped on him. Saint Peter was even more furious than before, but decided to give the gay guy one last chance.

Again they walk and for the third time Peter drops his keys, so he bends over and picks them up. The gay guy, having no self control jumps on him. Peter is now fed up and sends the gay guy straight to hell.

A few weeks later, Saint Peter goes down to hell for his routine inspection, but this time something is wrong, it is freezing, no fire, no lava and in one corner, he finds the devil lying under a stack of blankets freezing his ass off.

"Why is it so god damn cold down here?" Peter asks. "Well, you just try bending down for firewood!!" The devil replied.

1 se 10

At doing sex time.

girl- mujhe drd ho rha h.

boy- tm 10 tk gino mai nikal lung .

girl- ok

1

2

3

aah

4

5

6

ohh

7

uf

8

9,8,1,2 ,2 or 2 or 2 or 2...

Fractured Lund

Ek bar ek sharabi ko hospital me laya gaya jiska lund frecture tha-

DOCTOR: Ye kaise hua?

SHARABI: Main uski maa chod dunga jisne diwar pe nangi ladki ka postar chipkaya tha.

Doodh

Hakeem ne Pathan ki bemari ka Aelaaj Aurat ka Doodh Tjviez kiya,

Bari Mushkil Se Pathan ne Ek Aurat ko Raazi kiya

Doodh pilaate Hoye Aurat ki sex ki Feelings barh Gayin or Us ne Sexy Aawaz M kaha.....

Agr kuchh or bhi Chahiye To Lelo?

Pathan: baji,

Agar Sath Tiger biscuit hote to maza ajata.

Moochi

Mochi Ki Shadi hui Suhagrat me wo Kuch Kiye bagar So Gya BV Ne uska Hath Apne niche lgaya to Wo Chonk K Bola: "Iski silaai K 35 Rupye lunga

Whats up

Girl: "Hey What's Up?"

Boy: "If I Tell You, Then Will You Sit On It?"

Hab tak hai jaan

Jab Tak Hai Jaan... (Parody - From an employee s perspective )

Mujhey Har waqt reporting mein busy rakhne ki teri mastiyan,
Mujhey break na dene ki gustakhiyaan,
Teri bedard overtime ki angdaiyaan,
Nahi bhoolunga main.
Jab tak hai jaan, jab tak hai jaan...

Mere Sick leave par approval na dena,
Mere external training se rukh modna,
Mere vacation leave pe palat ke phir na dekhna,
Nahin maaf karunga main.
Jab tak hai jaan, jab tak hai jaan...

Appraisal Discussions mein bedhadak tere funde se,
Baat baat pe bewajah tere escalation se,
Chhoti chhoti teri bachkani team-meeting se,
Na Mohabbat karunga main,
Jab tak hai jaan, jab tak hai jaan...

Tere growth ke jhoothe kasme vaadon se,
Mere increment ke sulagte khwabon se,
Teri be-raham deadline se,
Nafrat karunga main,
Jab tak hai jaan, jab tak hai jaan.

Randi

Mere ansuo me uski tasver basi hai,
Par wo ma ki lodi kisi or se fasi hai.

Dekhna 1din me us raandi ki kabar khodunga,
or usi kabar pe uski behan ko chodunga!!

Bal Geet

Pahela keva saras bal-geet hata : Chaki Chokha khaande chhe, Mor pagla pade chhe.
And now?
Chako Chaki Ch*de chhe Baglo Muth*ya mare che,ne Mor fota pade che

Blind

Blind man in a Hotel..

Manager- Menu Sir?

Man- I'm blind, just bring me ur kitchen spoon.

I'll Smell it & order.
Manager got a spoon.
Blind Smelt & said "Yes, I'll have lamb with season Potatoes.
"Unbelievable !" said the manager.

Every week he came & was correct each time. Once manager wanted to trick him.
He went to the kitchen and told his wife Maria "Rub this spoon in ur PUSSY"

Blind man smelt & said,
"Oh ! My classmate Maria also works here !"

Teacher

Teacher Asked boy:
Agar ped par 5 birds baithe ho aur tum 1 ko goli mar do to kitne baki bache?

Boy: Koi nahi, sab ud jayenge

Teacher:
Nahi, 4 , lekin tumhari soch mujhe pasand aayi....

Boy: Madam mera 1 sawal Hai.
3 ladies ice cream kha rahi Hai..

1 chaat kar,
1 kat kar
1 choos kar

To konsi shadi shuda Hai ?

Teacher sharmate hue:

Jo choos rahi Hai

boy:
Nahi, jis k gale main mangalsutra hai, lekin apki soch mujhe pasand aayi !!!!:p;)

Maharani

Boy-Apne schol ki sunata hu 1 prem kahani
Ek thi topper jo thi percentage ki RANI
.
.
.
Phir
.
.
Phir kya?
.
.
Humne pata li,
Aur
Fail ho gai MAHARANI..

Fruits

Lady Teacher to Boy: 11 Fruits k Naam Batao?

Boy:
2 Aapke Aam
2 Pooja k Amrood
2 Shanti k Tarbuz
2 Neha k Santre
2 Pinki k Nimbu aur
1 mera Kela..!!

Raand

Lucknow ki Tawaiaf :-  "Bus karein Navab sahab, subha hogai hai.
Nawab :-Tumhe kaise pata chala?
Tawaiaf :-Hamari aankhaon ka kajal beh gaya ha i !

Delhi ki Tawaiaf :-Bas karein jee, subha ho chali hai..
Saudagar :-Aap ko kaise pata laga ?
Tawaiaf :-Hamara Gajraa murjha gaya hai.

Gujarati Tawaiaf :-Bas kar Nattu, sawar thavani chhe..
Nattu :-Tane kevi rite khabar padi ?
Tawaif :-bhosdina, Mane sandas lagi chhe..!!

Thermometer

Nurse: Aapko to tej bukhar hai, Thermometer garmi se ful gaya hai.
Chandu: Chutmari ki Nurse hai ke Raand? Tune thermometer nahi mera Lund pakad liya hai..

Hole

Lakhu chhu kaik Evu Tara mate,
Pasand Aave to Muskaraje Mara mate..
Tara BOL mate to Duniya Lutavi nakhu,
Bas Tara HOLE ma Jagya rakje mara mate.

Hati ka Loda

Ek jungle mein male janwar female janwaar ko 24 ghante chodte rahte the.. !!

Saari female jaanwar  mil ke Bramhaji ke pass gayi aur vardaan mangaa  ke kam se kam ek mahiney ke liye chudai se mukti miley !

Bramhaji ne SAB male janwaron  ke laudey  kaat ke unko coupon de diye aur boley ki  ek mahiney ke baad coupon lanaa  aur apna-apna  lund swayam le jaana.. !

Shaam ke time Bandar ped pe baitha tha..

Bandariya ne usey  chedtey  hue kaha: " Chod saaley, bhenchod ! Ab chod naa mujhe"?
Bandar kuch nahi bola.

Bandariya fir boli "Chod na Bhadve,  chod na behen ke  laudey.." !!

Bandar ne ek choti si smile di aur bola: " Ek maheena ruk ja !  Bhen ki Laudi...Teri Maa Chod dunga....Maine Haathi ka coupon churaya hai..." !

Women

4 Catholic men & a woman having coffee in Rome.
1st man-My son is priest,when he walks in,every1 calls him 'Father'
2nd man-My son is Bishop.When he walks in people call him'Your Grace'.
3rd man-My son is a Cardinal.When he enters everyone bows their head & says-Your Eminence'
4th man-My son is Pope.When he walks in people call him'Your Holiness'
Catholic woman Proudly-Well...I have a daughter, slim, tall,38D breast,24" waist & 34" hips. When she walks in,people say-My God...

Viagra

Ek navi VIAGRA ni
Tablet nikdi chhe,

Ene CHA ma Nakhi ne piwani hoy chhe!

.

Koi khoti Kalpna na
karo,

Tenathi fakt
Chaa ma
BODELU BISKIT
Kadak rahe chhe.

Bar Bar

Zindgi Milti he 1 Bar
Mot Aati he 1 Bar
Pyar hota he 1 Bar
Dil Tutta he 1 Bar
Jb sab kuch hota he 1 Bar
To  Fir
Ye Popat  kyu khada hota he Bar Bar !!!

Right Hole

Why Do Women Put Red Lipstick On Their Lips.???

To Inform Men,
StOp.!

This Is Not The Right Hole..!

Clever Mom

One Day Anuj Invited His Mother Over To His Flat For Dinner. His Mother Came Over And Noticed Anuj’s Roomate Sonia.

Anuj Said: “I Know What You Are Thinking And We Are Just Roomates”

A Week Passed And Sonia Said To Anuj: “I’m Not Saying Your Mother Did Take It And I’m Not Saying Your Mother Did Not Take It,

But Ever Since She Came To Dinner Last Week I Haven’t Been Able To Find My Beautiful Silver Chutney Jar”

Anuj Said: “He Would Ask His Mother” So He E-Mailed Her,

Mother: “I Am Not Saying That You Did Take The Silver Chutney Jar And I Am Not Saying That You Did Not Take The Silver Chutney Jar”

Anuj’s Mother Replied Back:”Anuj I Am Not Saying That You Do Sleep With Sonia And I Am Not Saying That You Do Not Sleep With Sonia But Fact Is If Sonia Was Sleeping In Her Own Bed She Would Have Been Able To Find The Chutney Jar By Now“

What an answer

Girlfriend Ne Boyfriend Ke Shoulder Par Sar Rakh Ke Poocha,

Girlfriend: “Kab Tak Apne Shoulder Par Sar Rakhane Doge?”

Ultimate Answer By Boyfriend: “Jab Tak Teri Taagein Apne Shoulder Par Na Rakh Doon“

Sex Pe Paise

Ek Seth Bada Hi Karodpati Tha, Par Achanak Business Mein Kisi Karan Se Nuksaan Hone Se Vo Dheere Dheere Kangaal Hone Laga

Ek Din Esa Aya Ki Jab Seth Ko Laga Ki Ab Vakiye Hi Unki Haalat Bahut Khasta Hone Wali Hai To Biwi Ke Pas Gaya Aur Sir Jhuka Ke Bola.

Seth: “Golu Ki Maa, Ek Buri Khabar Hai, Ab Hum Ameer Nahi Rahe, Sab Brabaad Ho Gaya, Dhandha Chopat Ho Gaya Aur Hum Jaldi Hi Sadak Pe Ane Wale Hai”

Biwi Ne Ye Suna To Pahle Hairan Hui, Fir Sadme Mein Aa Gayi, Par Achanak Se Uske Chehre Pe Rangat Aa Gayi Aur Seth Se Boli.

Biwi: “Seth Ji, Ghabrao Mat”

Seth: “Kyu?”

Biwi Ne Uska Hath Pakda, Car Mein Bithaya Aur Ek Bahut Bade Shopping Mall Ke Bahar Le Gayi Aur Boli.

Biwi: “Seth Ji, Ye Mall Apna Hai”

Seth Ka Muh Khula Ka Khula Rah Gaya.

Biwi Fir Use Ek Bahut Bade Aalishan Bangle Mein Le Gayi Aur Boli

Biwi: “Seth Ji Ye Bangla Bhi Apna Hi Hai”

Seth To Behosh Hone Wali Halat Mein Pahunch Gaya.

Biwi Fir Use Ek Colony Mein Le Gayi Jaha Abhi Makan Ban Rahe The

Biwi: “Seth Ji, Ye Colony Bhi Apni Hi Hai”

Ab Seth Ko Heart Attack Hone Ko Hua, Aur Usne Biwi Se Puchha

Seth: “Golu Ki Maa, Ye Sab Kaise Hamara Hai, Mujhe To Kuch Bhi Samaj Mein Nahi Aa Raha?”

Biwi: “Seth Ji, Yad Karo Hum Jab Bhi Sex Karte The To Ap Har Sex Ke Bad Khush Hoke Mujhe 5000 Rupaye Dete The”

Seth: “To?”

Biwi: “Main Vo Paise Jodti Rahi Aur Ye Sab Bana Liya”

Seth Ne Ye Suna Aur Rone Lag Gaya

Biwi Ne Hairani Hote Hue Pucha: “Seth Ji, Kya Hua Aap Ek Dum Se Rone Kyu Lag Gaye”

Seth: “Golu Ki Maa, Ro Isliye Raha Hun Ki, Kash Mene Pichle 30 Saal Mein Sirf Tumhare Sath Hi Sex Kiya Hota To Aaj Ye Puri Road Aur Uske As Pas Bana Sab Hamara Hota“

Washing Machine

Ek Aadmi Apni Biwi Ke Samne Muth Maar Raha Tha.

Biwi Ne Ye Dekha Aur Apni Salwar Niche Karke Chut Pe Haath Ferte Hue Boli

Biwi: “Haye Ram Samne Washing Machine Padi Hai Aur Ye Hath Se Kapde Dho Raha Hai“

Dua

Ek Aurat Ke Pass Ek Maina Thi, Par Vo Bahut Galiya Diya Karti Thi.

Duniya Bhar Ki Har Gali Use Aati Thi, Aur Ghar Aaye Har Mehman Ko Vo Galiya Deti Thhi.

Aurat Bechari Badi Pareshan Rahti Thi, Ek Din Usne Mohalle Mein Ek Mollvi Ji Ko Apni Samsya Batayi

Aurat: “Molvi Ji, Main Bahut Pareshan Hun, Aapke Pas To Har Tarha Ka Upay Hota Hai, Iska Bhi Koi Samdhaan Do Na.”

Molvi Bola: “Arey Ye Bhi Koi Badi Baat Hai, Mere Pass Bahut Time Se 2 Tote Hai Aur Vo Bahut Hi Sharif Aur Nek Hai, Sara Din Namaz Padte Hai”

Aurat: “Arrey Wahh, Par Meri Problem Kaise Door Hogi?”

Molvi: “Tum Ek Kaam Karo, Kuch Din Ke Liye Apni Maina Ko Mere Dono Toto Ke Sath Pinjre Mein Rahne Do, Vo Bhi Sudhar Jayegi”

Aurat Ne Khushi Khushi Apni Maina Ko Molvi Ko De Diya

Movli Jaise Hi Maina Ko Leke Kamre Mein Gusa

Ek Tote Ne Dusre Ko Kohni Mar Ke Khushi Se Kaha

Tota: “Abe Uth Be Bhonsdi Ke, Hamari Barso Ki Dua Kabool Ho Gayi Hai“

True Sex

Perfect Lines By William Sexfear:

“Any Man Can Fuck Hundred Girls,

But Only A Real Man Can Fuck One Girl In A Hundred Ways” Thats True Sex.

Chuuti

Fauj Mein Ek Sainik Apne Commandar Ke Pass Aya Aur Bola

Sainik: “Sir, Mujhe Chhutti Chahiye”

Commander: “Kyun?”

Sainik: “Sir, Biwi Ki Yaad Aa Rahi Hai, Sex Karne Ka Bada Mann Kar Raha Hai”

Commander: “Hmm, Ek Kaam Karo, Apni Pent Utaar Aur Jo Samne Diwaar Par Suraakh Hai Usmein Apna Lund Daalo Aur Andar Bahar Karo”

Sainik Ne Aisa Hi Kiya, Aur Use Bahut Maza Aaya. Sex Hone Ke Baad Commander Ne Pucha.

Commander: “Kyun Ab Chhutti Chahiye?”

Sainik Khush Hote Hue: “Nahi Sahab, Ab Maza Aa Gaya Ab Chhutti Nahi Chahiye”

Commander: “Shabash, Ab Pent Utaaro Aur Diwaar Ke Piche Ja Kar Jhuk Kar Khade Ho Jao, Kuch Aur Sainik Bhi Chutti Maang Rahe Hai“

Dad

Dad: “What’s Your Result?”

Son: “I’ve Failed In Five Subjects”

Dad: “From Now Onwards Don’t Call Me Dad”

Son: “Oh Come On Dad, Its My School Test Not A DNA Test“

Gaand

Insani Jism Ka Sab Se Nazuk Hissa Hai Gaand

Thand Lage To Gaand Fat Gayi,

Garmi Lage To Gaand Fat Gayi,

Paper Na Aata Ho To Gaand Fat Gayi,

Result Aaye To Gaand Fat Gayi,

Koi Bhi Kaam Kharab Ho Jaye To Gaand Fat Gayi,

To Bhai Logo, Apne Dil Se Jyada Khayal Apni Gaand Ka Rakha Karo

Mengai

Mahnagayi Kitni Bad Gayi Hai Is Baat Ka Andaza Aap Is Cheeze Se Laga Sakte Hai Ek Callgirl Ke Darwaje Par Signboard Laga Tha Pay For 1 Side & Get Other Side Bilkul Free

Ek ya do

Maths Tchr : Batao Ki Ek Me Do Daale To Kya Hota Hai ?
.
.
Ek Ladki Sharma K Boli- Madam Ye To Aapki Himmat Hai,
Humari To Ek Me Hi Jaaan Nikal Jati Hai..

Condom Kaha Rakna

A Moral Story :
One day my girlfriend invited me to her house.
I found her sister alone in the house, she was unbelievably sexy...
She whispered in my ear, "I have feelings for you, shall we have sex?
I immediately turned around & walked to the front door to go to my car...
I found my girl friend standing there.
She hugged me & said,"you've won my Trust".....
MORAL OF THE STORY IS: It is always better to keep condoms in the car, not in your pocket...

Bus

Chandu waitng 4 bus..

Girl in car askd- Want a LIFT?

Chandu-No thanx My home is on GROUND-FLOOR
MORAL-LOOK se kuch nhi hota,chandu,chandu hi hota hai..

Kidney Fail

Doctor to Chandu : Tamari ek kidney fail thai gai che.

Chandu pehla to bahu roya. Pachi aansu luchta bolya
.
.
Ketla marks thi:(

Plastic Lund

Biwi ko shaadi ke bahot saal baad pata chala ki uska pati chakka hai aur wo usey plastic ke lund se chodta tha.
Patni ghusse se- tum ne itni badi baat muzse chupa ke rakhi
Pati-jane do na darling q baat bada rahi ho. Itne saalo me maine tumse kabhi pucha k Pinki or Pappu plastic k lund se kaise paida huye.

Guju Eng

Grl: I talk in english only so u better talk wid me in eng only ok
Gujju Boy: thn go away,hw many %age of mine

G:Wat?

B:haa toh haalti tha ne mare ketla taka.

SITI

Pappu College Mein Ek Ladki Ko Dekh Ke Siti Marta Hai.

Ladki Gusse Se: “Kya Re Bhosdi Ke, Mujhe Dekh Ke Siti Marta Hai”

Pappu: “Saali, Saath Chal Gand Bhi Marta Hoon“

FAUJ

Fauj Mein Ek Sainik Apne Commandar Ke Pass Aya Aur Bola

Sainik: “Sir, Mujhe Chhutti Chahiye”

Commander: “Kyun?”

Sainik: “Sir, Biwi Ki Yaad Aa Rahi Hai, Sex Karne Ka Bada Mann Kar Raha Hai”

Commander: “Hmm, Ek Kaam Karo, Apni Pent Utaar Aur Jo Samne Diwaar Par Suraakh Hai Usmein Apna Lund Daalo Aur Andar Bahar Karo”

Sainik Ne Aisa Hi Kiya, Aur Use Bahut Maza Aaya. Sex Hone Ke Baad Commander Ne Pucha.

Commander: “Kyun Ab Chhutti Chahiye?”

Sainik Khush Hote Hue: “Nahi Sahab, Ab Maza Aa Gaya Ab Chhutti Nahi Chahiye”

Commander: “Shabash, Ab Pent Utaaro Aur Diwaar Ke Piche Ja Kar Jhuk Kar Khade Ho Jao, Kuch Aur Sainik Bhi Chutti Maang Rahe Hai“

JORDAR PROFESSOR

College Mein Ek Master Lecture Ke Doran Sex Ki Baatein Karne Lag Jaata Tha.

Ladkiyo Ne Is Cheez Se Tang Aakar Ek Din Faisala Kiya Ki Agar Kal Fir Se Aisa Hua To Wo Class Chhod Kar Chali Jayengi,

Master Ko Kisi Tarah Se Is Baat Ka Pata Chal Gaya,

Agle Din Usne Aram Se Lecture Shuru Kiya, Aur Achanak Bola.

Master: “Tumhe Pata Hai Ki France Mein Randiyo Ki Kami Ho Gayi Hai”

Ladkiyo Ne Ek Dusare Ko Dekha Aur Darwaze Se Bahar Jane Lagi,

Ye Dekh Ke Master Hansa Aur Bola.

Master: “Beth Jao – Beth Jao, Kal Tak Koi France Ki Flight Nahi Hai“

LADKIYA

Ek Aath Saal Ka Ladka Dukandaar Se Bola. Ladka: “Bhai Sahab, Ek Packet Cigarette Dena” Dukandaar Hairani Se Bola: “Itne Chote Aur Cigarette” Ladka: “Mere Liye Nahi Apne Chote Bhai Ke Liye Le Raha Hoon, Mere Liye To Ek Packet Condom De Do“

2.5 INCH

William Sexfear Ka Kahna Hai Ke

Kewal 2.5 Inches Kafi Hai Kisi Ladki Ko Satisfy Karne Ke Liye,

Aur Ye ATM Card Ki Lambayi Hai, Dimag Ki Soch Ko Saaf Rakho.

LAWARIS CHHEEZ

Ek Sachhi Gatna Delhi Ki,

Ek Gareeb Ladke Ko Raste Mein Jaate Hue Chirag Mila,

Usne Uthaya Aur Ragad Diya.. Zordar Dhamaka Hua

Khud Mar Gaya, Aas Paas Ke 9 Logo Ki Gaand Fatt Gayi Aur 15 Ke Lund Udd Gaye

Moral: “Aladin Ka Zamana Gaya Bhonsdi Walo, Lawaris Cheezo Se Durr Raho –  Police“

SUNO

Ek Budhe Aadmi Ne Socha Ki Meri Biwi Ko Shayad Sun Na Kam Ho Gaya Hai

So Check Karne Ke Liye Ek Din Uske Piche Gaya Aur Bola

Buddha: “Janu, Kya Tum Mujhe Sun Rahi Ho?”

Koi Jawab Nahi Aya, Vo Thoda Sa Aur Aage Gaya Aur Fir Bola

Buddha: “Janu, Kya Tum Mujhe Sun Rahi Ho?”

Is Bar Bhi Koi Jawab Nahi Aya, Vo Bilkul Uske Kareeb Chala Gaya Aur Bola

Buddha: “Janu, Kya Tum Mujhe Sun Rahi Ho?”

Budhi Chillate Hue: “Bhonsdi Ke, Ye Teesri Baar Haan Bol Rahi Hu“

SPERM

Ek Callgirl Ke Beech Kuch Sperms Apna-Apna Parichey De Rahe The,

I’m Doctor’s, I’m Doodhwala’s, I’m Husband’s, I’m Boyfriend’s,

Ek Sperms Chup Tha,

Ek Ne Pucha: “Tum Chup Kyun Ho?”

Silent Sperm: “Insano Ki Meeting Mein Kutte Ka Kya Kaam“

NAWAB

Ek Lucknow Ka Nawab Apne Kisi Rishtedar Se Milne Mumbai Gaya.

Wahan Vo Rasta Bhool Gaya, To Usne Ek Ladke Se Puchha.

Budha: “Huzroor, Ek Takleef Deni Thi Aapko”

Bachha: “Bhonsdi Ke, De Ke To Dekh Teri Maa Na Chod Dunga Sale Budhe.“

CHEENI

Ek Dukan Par Ek Ladka Kaam Karta Tha, Uska Malik Use Ye Kah Kar Ghar Jata Tha Ki Ghar Chini Khane Ja Raha Hoon

Aisa Roj Hota Thha, Ek Din Ladka Lala Ji Ka Picha Karta Karta Ghar Pahunch Gaya.

Usne Khidki Mein Se Dekha Ki Lala Ji Apni Wife Ko Chod Raha Tha,

Ye Dekh Ladke Ko Bhi Tharak Chadd Gayi Aur Usne Doosre Din Lala Ji Ki Ladki Ko Pata Liya,

Kuch Din Baad Vo Ladki Ke Saath Sex Kar Raha Tha, Achanak Se Lala Uper Se Aa Gaya Aur Usne Ye Sab Dekh Liya

Bas Fir Kya Tha Lala Ji Ne Ladke Ko Peetna Shuru Kar Diya.

Rone Peetne Ki Awaje Sunkar Aas Paas Ke Logo Ne Pucha: “Arrey Is Gareeb Ko Kyu Peete Ja Rahe Ho”

Iss Par Lala Ji Ne Rote Hue Jawab Diya: “Jab Ise Cheeni Khani Thi To Isne Nayi Bori Kyun Kholi, Jab Purani Bori Khuli Padi Thi“

PANI PURI

Agar Aap Chahte Hai Ki,

Ladki Pehle Hath Me Le,

Phir Muh Mein Le,

To Iske Liye Aap

……….. Panipuri Becho.

Soch Badlo Desh Badlega.

KUTTA

Baap Beta Sadak Pe Jaa Rahe Thhe To Bete Ne Dekha Ki Kutta-Kutti Sex Kar Rahe The.

Bete Ne Puchha: “Dad, Yeh Kya Ho Raha Hai?”

Baap Ab Bechara Kya Kahta, Kuch Socha Aur Bache Ko Samjhane Wale Andaz Se Bola

Baap: “Beta, Piche Wala Kutta Aage Wale Ka Sahara Le Kar Chal Raha Hai”

Beta Hairani Hote Hue: “Hadd Hai, To Ismein Bechare Ki Gaand Marne Ki Kya Jarurat Thi“

DNA

Dad: “What’s Your Result?”

Son: “I’ve Failed In Five Subjects”

Dad: “From Now Onwards Don’t Call Me Dad”

Son: “Oh Come On Dad, Its My School Test Not A DNA Test“

Sukh Santosh

Ek Bhakt Ne Baba Saxidas Se Puchha

Bhakt: “Baba Ji, Sukh Aur Santosh Ke Beech Mein Kya Farq Hai?”

Baba Ji Ne Muskura Ke Jawab Diya:” Jivan Mein Apni Pasand Se Ladki Thokne Ko Mile To Wo Hai Sukh … Aur Jo Mile …  Usse Thokna Pade Wo Hai Santosh…“

Eye Contact

Best Video Game

Nice Skirts

Khada Ho Gaya

Baba Saxidas Ka Ek Bhakt Ek Prashan Lekar Unke Pass Gaya Bhakt: “Baba Ji, Log Hamesha Ye Kyu Kahte Hai Ki (Fall In Love) Pyar Mein Gir Gaya” Baba Saxidas Muskura Ke Bole: “Bachha, Kyunki Pyar Mein Khada Ho Gaya Kahne Se Baat Ka Matlab Badal Jata Hai Na“

Best of Akbar Birbal

Ek Baad Baadshah Akbar Ke Dimag Mein Na Jane Kya Aaya Unhone Darbaar Mein Bethe Bethe Sab Logo Se Ek Sawaal Kiya Akbar: “Meri Moochon Ke Baal Kitne Hai?” Sabhi Soch Mein Pad Gaye Kisi Ko Jawab Nahi Aaya Tabhi Birbal Bola, Birbal: “4736” Akbar: “Agar Is Se Kam Ya Jyada Hue To?” Birbal: “Jyada Hue To Rani Ji Ke Zaanton Ke Baal Aapki Moochon Mein Fase Hoge Aur Kam Hue To Aapke Moochon Ke Baal Rani Ji Ke Zanton Mein Fase Honge“

Dua

Ek Bhikhari Signal Pe Bhikh Mang Raha Tha, Tabi Ek Car Mein Se Ek Khubsoorat Aurat Ne Use Bhikh Di, Bhikh Leke Bhikhari Aage Jane Laga, To Aurat Ne Kaha. Aurat: “Arey Kuch Dua To Do Mene Tumhe 10 Ruapye Ka Not Diya Hai?” Bhikhari: “Car Mein To Beithi Hai Ab Kya Land Pe Bethne Ki Dua Doon“

Biwi

Ek Baar Ek Ladka Hindi Ki Story Pad Raha Tha, To Uske Man Mein Padte Hue Do Shabad Aaye, Aur Usne Apne Papa Se Puchha Ladka: “Papa, Vishwas Aur Hakikat Mein Kya Fark Hai?” Papa: “Beta, Teri Maan Meri Biwi Hai Ye Hakikat Hai, Lekin Tu Mera Beta Hai Wo Ek Vishwas Hai“

Shaadi

Shadi Ke Function Mein Do Aadmi Aapas Mein Baat Kar Rahe The Pahla: “Lo Kuch Din Pahle Hi God Mein Khelti Thi Aur Aaj Iski Shaadi Hai” Dusre Ne Puchha: “Aap Dulhan Ke Chacha Ho?” Pahla Muskurate Hue: “Nahi, Dulhan Ka Boss“

Batak

Pati Apni Patni Ki Bra Khol Kar Left Boobs Ke Uppar Ek Batak Bana Kar Bola. Pati: “Main Teen-Chaar Din Ke Liye Bahar Ja Raha Hoon, Agar Mujhe Aane Pe Ye Batak Nahi Dikhi To Teri Kher Nahi?” Do Din Baad Patni Apne Boyfriend Ko Bula Leti Hai Aur Tasalli Bhaksh Chudvati Hai, Par Is Thoka Thukayi Ke Chakkar Mein Batakh Mitt Jati Hai. To Jaldbazi Mein Boy-Friend Ne Uske Right Boob Pe Batkah Bana Di. Agle Din Uska Pati Ghar Vaapis Aata Hai Aur Aate Hi Uske Kapde Utaar Ke Boobs Check Karta Hai Aur Right Pe Batkah Ko Dekh Ke Gusse Se Bolta Hai Pati: “Ye Right Pe Kaise Aa Gayi?” Patni Muskurate Hue Boli: “Ji Wo Main Naha Rahi Thi To Tairte-Tairte Left Se Right Mein Aa Gayi Hogi“

Smart

Wife Ko Yakeen Tha Ki Husband Ka Naukarani Ke Sath Nazayaz Talukaat Hai

Ek Din Usne Naukrani Ko Chupke Se Chhutti Pe Bhej Diya,

Raat Ko Pati Toilet Gaya To Wife Chup-Chap Naukarani Ke Bed Pe Let Gayi,

Aur Light Band Kar Di, Pati Khamoshi Se Kamre Mein Aaya Aue Sex Karne Lag Gaya.

Sex Ke Baad Biwi Chillate Hue Boli: “Tum Mujhe Yahaan Dekh Ke Chonk Gaye Na” Aur Ye Bolkar Light On Kar Di.

Driver Bed Se Uchalte Hue Hairani Se Bola: “Arey, Madam Aap Yahaan”

Moral: Jo Aurat Jyada Smart Banti Hai Aise Hi Chudati Hai.

Smart

Wife Ko Yakeen Tha Ki Husband Ka Naukarani Ke Sath Nazayaz Talukaat Hai

Ek Din Usne Naukrani Ko Chupke Se Chhutti Pe Bhej Diya,

Raat Ko Pati Toilet Gaya To Wife Chup-Chap Naukarani Ke Bed Pe Let Gayi,

Aur Light Band Kar Di, Pati Khamoshi Se Kamre Mein Aaya Aue Sex Karne Lag Gaya.

Sex Ke Baad Biwi Chillate Hue Boli: “Tum Mujhe Yahaan Dekh Ke Chonk Gaye Na” Aur Ye Bolkar Light On Kar Di.

Driver Bed Se Uchalte Hue Hairani Se Bola: “Arey, Madam Aap Yahaan”

Moral: Jo Aurat Jyada Smart Banti Hai Aise Hi Chudati Hai.

Smart

Wife Ko Yakeen Tha Ki Husband Ka Naukarani Ke Sath Nazayaz Talukaat Hai

Ek Din Usne Naukrani Ko Chupke Se Chhutti Pe Bhej Diya,

Raat Ko Pati Toilet Gaya To Wife Chup-Chap Naukarani Ke Bed Pe Let Gayi,

Aur Light Band Kar Di, Pati Khamoshi Se Kamre Mein Aaya Aue Sex Karne Lag Gaya.

Sex Ke Baad Biwi Chillate Hue Boli: “Tum Mujhe Yahaan Dekh Ke Chonk Gaye Na” Aur Ye Bolkar Light On Kar Di.

Driver Bed Se Uchalte Hue Hairani Se Bola: “Arey, Madam Aap Yahaan”

Moral: Jo Aurat Jyada Smart Banti Hai Aise Hi Chudati Hai.

Arab vs chinese

In A Plane Chinese And Arab Are Talking About Their Wives And Kids.

Chinese: “I’ve 10 Children, 1 More & I’ll Have My Own Football Team”

Arab: “I’ve 17 Wives, 1 More & I’ll Have My Private Golf Course Of 18 Holes“

Gotra

Baba Ji Se Unke Ek Naujawan Bhakt Ne Ek Din Puchha

Ladka: “Baba Ji, Ek Hi Gotra Main Shaadi Kar Sakte Hain Kya?”

Baba Ji Pahle Muskuraye Aur Fir Badi Pyar Bhari Najro Se Uski Taraf Dekh Kar Bole

Baba Ji: “Beta Gotra Koi Bhi Chalega, Magar Mutra Wala Bhag Alag-Alag Hona Chahiye”

Malllllikkkkaaaaaaaaaaa

Hair

Girl: “I’m Sexually Harassed”

Boss: “How ?”

Girl: “This Man Everyday Comes And Say Your Hair Smells Nice”

Boss: “Whats The Problem In That?”

Girl: “He Is Only 3 Feet Tall“

Ladka Ya Ladki

Pati Ne Suhagrat Pe Patni Se Sex Shuru Kiya Aur Enjoy Karte Hue Bola

Pati: “Darling Ladka Nikalu Ya Ladki?”

Patni: “Tumhari Maan Ka Bhosda, Bhenchod Pehle Jo Dala Hai Wo Nikal, Dard Se Meri Gand Fati Jaa Rahi Hai“

Petrol

Petrol Ke Badte Rate Ko Dekhte Hue Ek News Channel Walo Ne Report Di Hai Ki

Aaj Ke Bad Petrol Pump Par Adult Movies Chalya Karenge

Taki Aap Petrol Bharvate Hue Usi Time Pe Kisi Aur Ko Bhi Chudte Dekh Sako

(What An Idea Sir Ji)

Deluxe Ward

Ek Neta Ji Hospital Ka Survey Karne Gaye

General Ward Mein Dekha Ek Mariz Muthh Maar Raha Tha.

Neta Ji Ne Hairan Hote Hue Doctor Se Puchha: “Ye Kya Hai?”

Doctor Ne Samjhaya: “Is Ka Virya Bahut Tezi Se Banta Hai Hourly Nikalna Jaruri Hai.”

Neta Ji Agle Ward Mein Pahunche

Udhar Ek Nurse Mariz Ka Lund Choos Rahi Thi

Ye Dekh Ke Neta Fir Hairan Hue Aur Doctor Se Puchha: “Ab Ye Kya Hai?”

Doctor: “Bimari Wahi Hai Par Ye Deluxe Ward Hai..“

Lulli

Nunni Choti Hone Ki Wajah Se Maa Apne Bete Ko Shahar Ke Sex Related Bade Doctor Ke Pas Le Gayi

Doctor Ne Dekhne Ke Baad Maa Ko Salah Di.

Doctor: “Isko Roj Subha Nashte Mein Ek Apple Jarur Diya Karo”

Agle Din Nashte Ki Table Pe Bade Sare Seb Pade Dekh Kar Bache Ne Hairan Hote Hue Maa Se Puchha

Bachha: “Ye Sare Mere Liye Hai?”

Maa: “Nahi, Tum Sirf Ek Khao Baki Tumhare Daddy Ke Liye Hai“

Fuck

Fuck Is The Only Word Which Can Be Used To Express Many Feelings

Revenge – Fuck You

Request – Plz Fuck Off.

Failure – I Am Fucked.

Anxiety – What The Fuck Is Happening

Assole

Wife: “I Met A Doctor Today & He Says, I Have Breasts Of A 25 Years Old Girl.”

Husband: “Ohh And What Did He Say About 50 Years Old Ass Hole?”

Wife Smile And Replied: “Nothing, We Didn’t Talk About You“

Touching Lines

Most Touching Lines Said By True Lover To His Love While Break Up:

“Teri Maan Ka Bhonsda, Sali Gastiye, Ja Lunn Te Waj Bhenchodi, Kutti Saali, Jugad“

Munnabhai

Munna Bhai Ne Kaha Hai:

Life Mein Teen Cheezon Ke Peeche,

Kabhi Nahi Bhaagne Ka,

Bole To Bus, Train Aur Ladki,

Bole To Inpe Sidha Chad Jaane Ka.

Panty

1990 Ki Panty Aur 2012 Ki Panty Mein Kya Fark Hai ?

Pahle Panty Hatao To Gand Dikhti Thi

Aur Ab Gand Hatao To Panty Dikhti Hai.

Pushing Pushing Par Andar Na Ghusing

Pushing Pushing Par Andar Na Ghusing

Pushing Pushing Par Andar Na Ghusing

Zor Lagaya Tab Bhi Na Andar Ghusing

Thak Ke When Choosing Then Ghusing

Guess What?

You Dirty Mind!

Mein Sui Mein Dhaaga Dalne Ki Baat Kar Raha Tha

Tokri . . .

Ladki Aur Ladke Ka Bahut Time Affair Chalne Ke Baad Breakup Ho Raha Tha.

Ladke Ne Ladki Ko Diye Hue Gift Ginate Hue Bola.

Ladka: “Ab Humare Bich Kuch Nahi Raha Meri Nishaniya Mujhe Wapas De Do”

Ladki Bhi Tez Thi Usne Condom Se Bhari Ek Tokri Ladke Ko Pakdayi Aur Boli

Ladki: “Le, Ismein Se Jo Tera Hai Dhund Le“

Jeans

Aajkal Ki Ladkiyo Ki Soch

Ek Ladki Apni Saheli Se: “Aaj Kal Ladke Itni Dheeli Jeans Pahente Hai, Ki Pata Hi Nahi Chalta Ki, Hamein Dekh Kar Kaisa “Feel” Kar Rahe Hai?“

Greece . . . .

Chandu Ki Wife Tours & Travels Magazine Padhte Hue Boli.

Chandu : “Is Baar 2nd Honeymoon Ke Liye Greece Try Karen”

Chandu : “Kyo? Sarson Ke Tel Mein Kya Kharabi Hai“

Jos Chu . . . .

Jeans

A hot girl removes her jeans n say to boyfrnd
make me feel like a wife....
Boy also remove his jeans and say
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
wash both the jeans

Condom

Beta : Papa Condom kya Hota Hai?
Papa : Chal Bhaag yaha se, mujhe nahi Pata.
Beta : mujhe pehle se hi Shak tha,Tabhi to Hum 10 Bhai-Behan Hai...

Ideal Wife

Who is an Ideal Wife?
.

Pati daru pee ke Ghare aave,

aur....... Patni aane par puchhe:

Pehle Condom lagau ya khana.

Sex

Hasband Apne Sasural Me Wife Se:Aaj Sex Ho Jaye.
Biwi:Nahi Hum Papa Ke Ghar Hai.
Hsbd:To Benchod Kya Mere BAAP KA Ghar Randy Bazar Hai Jo Roz Taiyar Ho Jati Ho.

What An Idea

Free Advice To Women By William Sexfear

Go Without Bra.

Nobody Will Notice The Wrinkles On Your Face.

Polio

Ladka Aur Ladki Hotel Mein Kamara Book Karwane Pahunche

Ladka: “Bhai Saab, Room Chahiye”

Manager: “Kis Liye?”

Ladka: “Madam Ko Polio Ki Khurak Deni Hai”

Manager: “Magar Ye To 18 Saal Ki Hai”

Ladka: “Inhone Bachpan Mein Dawa Pine Ke Baad Ulti Kardi Thi, Isliye Dawa Niche Se Dalni Padegi“

Night Fall

Due To The Slippery Surface, An Old Jaat Fell From Stairs At Night And Died.

His Nephew Sends Telegram To The Family

“Tauji Expired Due To Night Fall“

Fauji V/s Police

Police Wala Or Fauji Ek Saath Train Me Safar Kar Rahe The.

Policewale Ne Time Pass Ke Liye Fauji Se Puchha

Policewala: “Ap Chutti Pe Ja Rahe Hai?”

Fauji: “Han Biwi Ki Delivery Hai, Isliye”

Policewala: “Ohh Achha, Kitne Din Baad Ghar Ja Rahe Ho?”

Fauji: “2 Saal Baad.”

Policewala Uska Majaak Udate Hue: “Phir To Hone Wala Bacha Pakka Haram Ka Hoga”

Fauji Ne Bade Pyar Se Jawab Diya: “Mujhe Konsa Ghar Rakhna Hai Police Me Bharti Kar Doon Ga“

Irade

7th Class Ki Ek Ladki Ko Night Club Mein Dekhkar College Ki Ladki Ne Hairani Se Us Se Puchha

Ladki: “Tum Itni Choti Si Hokar Is Club Mein Kya Kar Rahi Ho?”

Bachhi: “Jab Irado Mein Ho Hausla To Body Mein Kyu Nahi?”

Ladki Ko Ko Samjh Na Aaya To Usne Pucha: “Kya?”

Bachhi Muskurate Hue: “Aunty, Sirf 2 Boobs Ka Hi To Farak Hai, Aa Jayenge“

Suji

Ek Bacha Kriyane Ki Dukan Pe Jata Hai Aur Dukandar Se Poochta Hai

Bachha: “Suji Hai?”

Shopkeeper: “Haan Hai”

Bacha: “To Marwayi Kyu Thhi Bhonsdi Ke”

Agle Din Ek Aur Bacha Aata Hai Aur Poochta Hai

Bacha: “Suji Hai?”

Shopkeeper: “Nahi”

Bacha: “To Dukan Kya Maa Chudwane Ke Liye Kholi Hai“

Garib Ka Kilona

Ek Ladki Ne Garib Ladke Se Puchha: “Tumhara Lund Itna Bada Kaise?”

Garib Ldka: “Kyuki Bachpan Se Mere Pass Aur Koi Khilona Nhi Tha“

World’s Cutest Non-Veg Joke

Friends This Is Really The Cutest Non Veg Joke I Ever Heard.

A Cow Said To Her Milkman Politely

“Bas Karo Naaa, Ghar Par Biwi Nahi Hai Kya…..?

Broken Condom

Husband: “Honey, Why Is Broken Condom Laying On The Sofa?”

Wife Tensed: “Where?”

She Goes Out To Check And Returns

Wife: “For God Sake Stop Calling Our Son A Broken Condom“

Pogo

Dulhan Ki Saheli Ne Suhagrat Par Uska Haal Jaan Ne Ke Liye Use phone Kiya

Saheli: “Kya Chal Raha Hai Baby?”

Dulhan Udas Hote Hue Boli: “Yaar, Wo Mere Kareeb Aane Lage To Maine Kaha Kya Kar Rahe Hain? Tab Se Unhone Mujhe Pogo Dikhane Ke Liye Bithaya Hua Hai.“

Teri Ma Ki

Ek Tapori Ke Ghar Beta Hua Tha, Kuch Mahino Ke Baad Tapori Ki Patni Tapori Se Boli

Patni: “Sunte Ho Ji, Apne Bete Ne Aaj Pehli Baar Aadha Sentence Bolna Sikha”

Tapori: “Achha, Kya Bola?”

Patni: “Teri Maa Ki“

Wah

Chodumal Khan Saahab Bade Khushe The Aaj, Dosto Ke Puchne Pe Apni Khushi Shayari Mein Byaan Ki

Aaj Uska Dil Phir Dukha Diya Hamne,

Apne Pyar Ka Karz Chuka Diya Hamne,

De Kar Laalach Use Ice Cream Ka,

Andhere Mein Apna Choosa Diya Hamne

Muhavra

Madam Ne Class Mein Pappu Se Kaha

Madam: “Aisa Muhawra Bolo Jisme 2 Body Parts Ke Nam Ate Ho, Jaise: 1-Bina Sir Pair Ki Bat Karna. 2-Hath Pair Chalana…!!”

Pappu Kuch Sochkar: “Ji, Pichwade Mein Ungli Karna“

Bluetooth Sex

Girl Hostel Ke Bahar Ek Ladka Apna Hath Jagannath Kar Raha Tha.

Chokidaar Ne Ye Dekha Aur Hairan Hokar Us Se Puchha: “Abe Ye Kya Kar Raha Hai?”

Ladka: “Andha Hai Kya, Dikhta Nahi Ke Main Apni Girlfriend Ke Saath Bluetooth Se Sex Kar Raha Hun“

DDT

Lady To Doctor: “Doctor An Ant Has Entered My Vagina”

Doctor Removed Lady’s Panty & Started Fucking.

Lady: “What Are You Doing?”

Doctor: “I Am Trying To Kil Ant Using Liquid D.D.T“

Gay Bacha

Jai Aur Neeraj Se To Aap Log Vakif Hi Hai, Dono Best Gay Couple Hai.

Ek Baar Unhone Bachcha Paida Karne Ka Socha.

Dono Ne Apne Sperms Ko Mix Karke Serogate Mother (Kiraye Ki Kokh) Ki Help Se Ek Bachcha Paida Karvaya.

Bachha Dekhne Jab We Hospital Pahuche To Ward Me 12 Bachche The, 11 Ro Rahe The, 1 Bachcha Hans Raha Tha.

Nurse Boli: “Ye Aapka Bachcha Hai”

Jai Ne Neeraj Ko Gale Se Lagate Hue Kaha: “Yaar Dekh Hamara Bachha Kitna Khush Hai, Is Se Sabit Ho Gaya Ki We Are The Best In The World”

Nurse Ne Ye Suna Aur Boli: “Hmm, Abhi To Ye Khush Hai, Tab Dekho Kya Hota Hai, Jab Mein Iske Pichwade Mein Se Thermo-Meter Bahar Nikalungi“